1. You and Pooples don't necessarily want kids (amen to that). Living in Texas, do you have to put up with a whole lot of "you're going straight to Hell" for your decision? How do you respond? (I ask this selfishly, so I can plagiarize your answer, of course.)
Perhaps not “going straight to hell,” but we certainly get our fair amount of crap about this. Though, based on what others have told me, this hardly a Texas specific thing. Most people don’t get too in my face about it, other than the condescending “Oh, you’ll change your mind. You’re just so young now.”
Really? I’m 28. My mom had two kids at my age. I’m not that young. I will say, my heart is softening towards the idea, and I know Mr. A and I would have plenty of fun with a kid (which, if there is a Kid? THERE WILL SO ONLY BE ONE.), but I’m far from sold on the idea.
But back to your question, I’m pretty bitchy and blunt with people who do foolishly get in my face about this, which really is rarely. I just say “It’s none of your business what I do or don’t do with my uterus.” And if I’m talking to a condescending “you’ll change your mind” person? I tell that that if they ever want to see me bear offspring, they best shut up because I will NOT have children just to spite them.
The thing that really gets me is the occasional insinuation that I am somehow failing Mr. A by not wanting kids. If you say something like that, you are likely to get a Fuck You back. Because really, Fuck You.
2. Since (according to our Southern peers) you'll clearly have some big void to fill in your childless life, will you do so with nine cats? Or maybe an entire litter of Sassy Kays? Speaking of, when can we expect your own little ball of fluff?
I would like to have a cat, only because we presently live in an apartment which is not an ideal situation for a dog. But I’m highly allergic. I grew up with tons of cats- I lived out in the middle of nowhere and they were protection against snakes, but going years without being around them had made my body quite cat intolerant. I break out in a rash, my eyes water, I get itchy. So, no, no cats.
I would totally dig a Sassy Kay- I’ve been trying to talk Mr. A into one for months now, but he’s a hardass. Although I’m betting if one day I just rolled up with a Sassy Kay in hand, he’d get over it pretty quickly. But since I don’t want to be entirely responsible for potty training a dog, I have no immediate plans to do that. But once we get a house? We are so getting two dogs. A Sassy Kay-esque baby dog for me, and a big old man dog for Mr. A. We even have names picked out. I want to name my dog Murphy (which, my aunt-in-law got a dog and named it Murphy- I am so mad about it). Every time I see a dog that I am interested in, I inform Mr. A that it is “totally a Murphy Dog.” Mr. A wants to name his dog Georgia (he used to live in Atlanta and graduated from Emory).
3. Most people who know anything about you know that you have an, erm, mild fondness for J. Crew. Is this something you were born with? Something ingrained in you as a child? Or something you acquired after years of being surrounded by preppy sorority girls and overworked law students?
Despite its present intensity, my love of J. Crew is a pretty new thing. Recall that in the past, J. Crew was largely a basics/staples kind of place, and not the haven of fantastic fashion it presently is. People in Small Town Texas were certainly not shopping at J. Crew. I do recall getting the catalogs and pining for sweaters. My very first sweater from the Crew was an orange wool crewneck that I bought my freshman year of college. It was like $70, and spending that much on a sweater nearly killed me. In fact, I don’t think I bought any more J. Crew until law school, when it was still really out of my price range.
My love of the Crew really amped up during the past year to near obsession levels. Their clothes are just so versatile. And really, about 75% of what I buy there is on sale. I recently bought a top their at full price, and that is probably the first time that has happened in nearly a year.
4. You don't like Girl Scouts. Is this because one bullied you as a kid? Come to think of it, Heather B. was once a Girl Scout, and on your About Me page, you claim to not like Heather B. much either (I'm beginning to put two and two together). Still, would you sacrifice your disdain for the organization for a heavenly box of Thin Mints, Samoas or Tagalongs?
I don’t actually have anything against Girl Scouts. People in my hometown didn’t even do Girl Scouts. Scouting was something that you would be relentlessly mocked for in fact. So I have no ill towards them from a childhood incident, or anything like that.
I do love Thin Mints and Tagalongs. Especially Thin Mints stored in the freezer. I hate coconut, so I hate Samoas. I actually don’t recall the last time I had a Girl Scout cookie though. I don’t like buying them because 1) you eat the whole box in a setting and 2) the only actual problem I have with GS is the way they accost you when you are just trying to go to the grocery store.
(And for the record, the Heather B. reference is to a jokey comment from the past. HB is so one of my internet besties)
5. Is everything really bigger in Texas? (Be honest with us here.)
Um, I dunno? The hair? The hair is really not bigger. Like, that is the most irritating of the stupid things people ask me about Texas. Little old ladies have big hair here. But guess what? Little old ladies have big bad hair everywhere.
People do seem to like bigger vehicles here. Lots of trucks and SUVs and whatnot. Food is big here, but that seems to be a bit of a national epidemic. That being said, if you find yourself in Texas, go have yourself a gigantic
Chicken Fried Steak immediately. And yes, Chicken Fried Steak is to be capitalized.
Allow me to go on a slight tangent here- what the hell is up with people and their constant need to bash Texas? Yes, George Bush is from here. But so am I. And I? Am totally awesome. So shut the hell up about Texas already. It is my home, and I really cannot imagine living anywhere else. Every time I go to another state, that is just confirmed.
