A while back, this post by I Pick Pretty got me to thinking about how we divide things up around Casa de Slynnro. I wasn't really lying in comment there when I stated that Mr. A and I haven't really found any tasks that we argue as to how to fairly assign the task amongst the two of us. This is primarily because we live a simple life, free of possessions other than an extensive collection of J. Crew cotton dresses. While we are hardly ya know, Amish, we don't own a house, we both lease brand new cars with no maintenance issues, no yard work, no pool, no kids, no pets.
Things are, not shockingly, kind of divided up along traditional gender lines here. I do most of the cleaning, Mr. A takes out the trash, I do most of the laundry, Mr. A kills any random bugs that might pop up, Mr. A drives everywhere, I map out the route. Mr. A picks up the delivery orders and I make brownies once a week (We don't cook around here, and we are fine with it). I'm certainly not arguing that we are model married citizens, merely stating that when there isn't much to divvy up, there aren't many causes for problems.
We do three things that are perfectly acceptable for us but are, as far as I can tell, TOTALLY INSANE to most other people.
1. We do not grocery shop together. Or I suppose rather, I don't grocery shop for us. If grocery shopping were going to be assigned here, I would imagine I would do all of it. But I don't. I shop for myself. Mr. A shops for himself. We have different snack foods, different diets (Me: relatively healthy and gluten free, Him: TOTAL EFFING CRAP), different times of eating. Just totally different. Every person I have ever told this to thinks we are headed for divorce. Personally, I don't see what the big deal is, but whatever.
2. We never eat dinner together on weekdays. Apparently, this spells out doom for our marriage. Uh, okay. There is this super smug married co-worker guy of mine whose face fucking fell off when I told him about this. According to him, I must love my husband less than I should. Maybe. Or maybe I like eating before 10 pm. I guess it's one of those. Mr. A eats super late, even when he's not working super late. Meanwhile, I begin the dinner time countdown at about 4 pm. If I don't eat around 6:00, I began to fall into a state known as "Angry Hungry," and you don't want that to happen. Just ask Mr. A or his missing finger.
3. We do not have any joint checking accounts. This is how it works- my salary goes to me. I use it to pay my student loans, my insurance, my car payment, my groceries, my gas, my everything. On top of that, Mr. A transfers me a small amount each month to cover spending money and the like. Even though I'm a lawyer, just like Mr. A, he makes a whopping 3.5 times as much money as I make. Don't laugh, at my prior job, Mr. A made 5 fucking times as much money as I did. (Note to law students out there: Try, ya know, studying or some shit so you can end up on law review and make actual cash, or ya know, marry smart). So I'm a bit of a charity case. Mr. A controls the savings, which as you can all guess is probably good given the record of my spending habits. Fret not, I live in a community property state, so ya know, it's all legally half mine. But I'd rather never touch it. This occasionally creates some unfortunate situations, and sometimes I do feel like a daughter asking daddy for money when I need some extra, but generally it works for us.
So, how do you handle your joint checking affairs? How do you divide labor? And are we really doomed for not having joint dinners?
Things are, not shockingly, kind of divided up along traditional gender lines here. I do most of the cleaning, Mr. A takes out the trash, I do most of the laundry, Mr. A kills any random bugs that might pop up, Mr. A drives everywhere, I map out the route. Mr. A picks up the delivery orders and I make brownies once a week (We don't cook around here, and we are fine with it). I'm certainly not arguing that we are model married citizens, merely stating that when there isn't much to divvy up, there aren't many causes for problems.
We do three things that are perfectly acceptable for us but are, as far as I can tell, TOTALLY INSANE to most other people.
1. We do not grocery shop together. Or I suppose rather, I don't grocery shop for us. If grocery shopping were going to be assigned here, I would imagine I would do all of it. But I don't. I shop for myself. Mr. A shops for himself. We have different snack foods, different diets (Me: relatively healthy and gluten free, Him: TOTAL EFFING CRAP), different times of eating. Just totally different. Every person I have ever told this to thinks we are headed for divorce. Personally, I don't see what the big deal is, but whatever.
2. We never eat dinner together on weekdays. Apparently, this spells out doom for our marriage. Uh, okay. There is this super smug married co-worker guy of mine whose face fucking fell off when I told him about this. According to him, I must love my husband less than I should. Maybe. Or maybe I like eating before 10 pm. I guess it's one of those. Mr. A eats super late, even when he's not working super late. Meanwhile, I begin the dinner time countdown at about 4 pm. If I don't eat around 6:00, I began to fall into a state known as "Angry Hungry," and you don't want that to happen. Just ask Mr. A or his missing finger.
3. We do not have any joint checking accounts. This is how it works- my salary goes to me. I use it to pay my student loans, my insurance, my car payment, my groceries, my gas, my everything. On top of that, Mr. A transfers me a small amount each month to cover spending money and the like. Even though I'm a lawyer, just like Mr. A, he makes a whopping 3.5 times as much money as I make. Don't laugh, at my prior job, Mr. A made 5 fucking times as much money as I did. (Note to law students out there: Try, ya know, studying or some shit so you can end up on law review and make actual cash, or ya know, marry smart). So I'm a bit of a charity case. Mr. A controls the savings, which as you can all guess is probably good given the record of my spending habits. Fret not, I live in a community property state, so ya know, it's all legally half mine. But I'd rather never touch it. This occasionally creates some unfortunate situations, and sometimes I do feel like a daughter asking daddy for money when I need some extra, but generally it works for us.
So, how do you handle your joint checking affairs? How do you divide labor? And are we really doomed for not having joint dinners?
