This was SO it.

Tonight I saw Michael Jackson THIS IS IT with another MJ lovin' friend.

People.

I got a lot of shit from CERTAIN PEOPLE about the fact that I was going to see this.

I even made a few ego sparing pre-screening jokes about it myself.

NO NEED TO THAT.

It was AMAZING.  Ya know, we all know Michael Jackson was an amazing talent and yada yada, but to see him, standing alone on a stage, in the midst of various non-glamorous activities relating to things like set construction, standing amongst people in sweatpants, half-assedly singing and dancing and still be the most mesmerizing, compelling thing I've seen in ages?  WOW.  There really aren't words how gifted this man was.   Or how incredibly kind. I'm retroactively kicking my own ass about the fact that I was never even interested in trying to find a way to get tickets for this show.  It would have been the most amazing concert production in the history of time and grateful to even have a bit of a look into what would have been.

Go see it.  Go see it now. 

Familiar.

So I've written in the past about one of my former best friends/maid of honor and the inexplicable demise of our friendship. What I haven't, however, talked about was the best friend before that. The true original College Best Friend. I'll call her Bunny. Bunny and I quickly became friends after pledging the same sorority freshman year. Bunny, Angela and myself pretty much spent every waking moment together for the next 3 1/2 years. But the summer after senior year, our friendship began to deteriorate. I'm not even sure what all the issues were anymore, but I do recall that part of my frustration was my inability to get in touch with Bunny at times. Now, who knows, this might have all been a figment of my long term memory at this point. But all this to say, we didn't talk from some time in 2003 until a few months ago. 

We share a mutual friend, the infamous Matty and thus I was able to stay somewhat abreast of what was going on in her life. I knew she got married, I knew where she moved to, and I had a general idea of what was going on with her. I have a lot more to say about this situation, but I will say two things here 1) One of my biggest regrets over the past few years is not trying to get in touch with her (while mistakenly trying to get in touch with Other Best Friend) and 2) Having her back in my life now is kind of like going home to the small town I grew up in. She is familiar in the most fantastic way. 

The other day, she called me as I was heading into a meeting and I promised to call her later on that night. I forgot to, and apologized for such on her Facebook page. Her response to that wall post is a fantastic reminder of why I am just so damn happy to have her back in my life:

That?  Is the sense of humor I missed ever so much.

NoImYoSeMo II.

So dear readers, November is just around the corner. Which means the TRAGIC END OF DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME! On a more positive note, it also means NoImYoSeMo! For those of you who weren't around last year at this time, I started November Improve Yourself Month in order to set some goals for the month and hopefully put myself on a motivational track. I had a lot of great success last year, so I plan on doing it again. I'm working on my goals list now, and I will be posting them this weekend. I'd love to have you join me! Create your list! And post it in the comments on that post!

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? GET TO THINKIN'!

Crock Pot-kets.

A conversation that occurred while I was typing up this post on Feminine Freak Outs.

Mr. A: Ya know it's not fair. The feminine freak out. Men don't have anything equivalent to that. We just have to roll over.

Slynnro: Oh, shut up. When you have periods and childbirth and sexual harassment, I might start caring.

Mr. A: Whatever, you've never given birth.

Slynnro: One day I might. If YOU every wanted a child, I am the one who would have to have it.

Having no decent response to that one....

Mr. A: Whatever, I get sexually harrassed too.

Slynnro: Oh really.

Mr. A: I get hit on.

Slynnro: Getting hit on is not sexual harassment.

Mr. A: (Proceeds to tale story of this one time at his old job where someone senior to him might maybe have hit on him)

Slynnro: You know what I take from that story? That when an older woman you aren't in to hits on you, it still doesn't qualify as sexual harassment.

Mr. A: My old maybe-alesbian secretary used to hit on me too!

Slynnro: It doesn't count if a lesbian is sexually harassing you either.

Mr. A: She had a boyfriend.

Slynnro: She could still be a lesbian.

Mr. A: She had a kid.

Slynnro: She could still be a lesbian.

Mr. A: She used to send me these bizarre hot chick of the week emails.

Slynnro: Further evidence she was a lesbain. And it's still not sexual harassment unless she is sending you pictures of herself on that site.

*******************************************************************

So, I had a SUPER FUN weekend. On Friday night, Mr. A and myself went and saw Jim Gaffigan (4th row seats!). For those of you not familiar, he plays the brother on My Boys, and is also of Hot Pockets fame:

Also, my favorite CAKE:

and then I went out with several girls from work. Have I yet mentioned how much I love my job and the fact that I have made such good friends and I get to see them everyday? Because I do.

On Saturday, we went to WALKING WITH DINOSAURS!

Which, WHATEVA. The two people, three courses for $20? GOOD DEAL.

Anyhoo, for all the joking I did beforehand, Walking with Dinos IS pretty cool:

The dinosaurs were freaking huge and they did an amazing job making the whole thing very realistic, if a bit cheeseball. And the whole thing fit right in nicely with our whole Fucking Do Something on The Weekend OMG plan.

AND THEN! ON SUNDAY!

ERM. I mean....




YAY! Tomorrow, I'm cooking this! Super excited!

Aaaaah Freak Out!

I had an interesting conversation today with a male co-worker today regarding Feminine Freak Outs.

No, I don't mean pregnancy scares, or PMS induced rants, or being afraid of bugs.

What I mean by Feminine Freak Out is a situation where there you feel the need to give no further explanation for why you are upset about something other than I AM A GIRL AND THIS IS HOW I AM AND YOU BEST JUST SHUT UP ABOUT IT ALREADY.

A mutual friend of ours has a tendency to have Feminine Freak Outs with great frequency, and about things that do not (in our un-humble opinion) warrant said Freak Outs. Now, I (and he) on the other hand feel that a good old Feminine Freak Out can be highly effective when used prudently.

I am not a crier. I don't really cry (Mr. A is sitting over my shoulder surely disagreeing with this, as he has in the past. I don't know what the fuck he is talking about. WHEN! WHEN DO I CRY MR. A! That's right, you can't think of any. Oh, people. He's reading this and backpedaling.) I cry so infrequently that Mr. A should know that if I am actually crying that he is well and truly fucked and should just give up.

Now, a Feminine Freak Out is not to be confused with ya know, generally YELLING. I'm a bit of a Yeller. I YELL when I fight. I prefer to call it Communicating Loudly.

So, ladies, when and how do you utilize your Feminine Freak Out cards?

Many Unrelated Items.

So. Let's see. What has happened since we last spoke?

Well, first, Mr. A and I had our anniversary dinner. Always one to outdo himself on previous gift giving occasions, Mr. A pulled through with another set of winning gifts!

First, he booked for me a spa day at the lovely Stoneleigh Hotel. Which, random aside. I had to valet my car there, and something happened that has happened in the past and I'm trying to figure out what the reason is for it. The valet marked the steering wheel emblem on my car with red pencil or something:

This has been done in the past. This time, it came off. But on my old car? Not so lucky. The emblem was stained, which I found rather irksome. Is there some reason for this? Because as far as I can conclude, this was vandalism with no discernible purpose. Am I missing something? I mean, if you read this site with any regularity, you know that my material possessions are the only thing of value in my life, so anyone defacing them is obviously quite concerning. Any ideas on this?

He also got me and iPod to replace the two that have previously broken (I am iCursed, I tell you!)

with a super sweet cheese card:


and another fabulous necklace.

All very sweet and thoughtful. Oh, that Mr. A.

But my gift is a SACRIFICE!

I'm taking Mr. A to this. Yes, we are going to Walking with Dinosaurs this Saturday. That outght to be a blog post and a half. I also got him a waterproof digital camera, but I gave him that back before our latest Turks and Caicos trip.

We ate dinner at 560, after which I ate this ALL BY MYSELF!

And lo, it was good. If you're in Dallas, I highly recommend this restaurant.

Though I do suggest you FIGURE OUT PARKING BEFORE YOU GO OMG. (There may have been a little fight in the car.)

But even more exciting than any of this?

CRYSTAL LIGHT HAS A NEW CONTAINER!

People! This is like SO HUGE IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW! I drink so freaking much of this stuff. This rocks my world! But also apparently confuses me, since I bought Raspberry Ice, which. . . DISGUSTING. Anyone want some free Crystal Light?

I went to the Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market tonight because I was on my way home from a meeting. Normally, I get stuck buying all of my food at Whole Foods because it's easier to find GF products, and then I walk to the overpriced grocery store next to my apartment for cleaning stuff and toiletries and such. Before I had to do GF, I bought all my groceries at Wal-Mart. But that was over two years ago. Did y'all all realize that groceries at regular stores are TOTALLY FUCKING CHEAP? And relatedly, that I WOULD DIE TO EAT A LEAN CUISINE PIZZA RIGHT NOW? Oh how miss glutenous convenience foods.

Which, also relatedly, those of you who dine alone or just have one other person to eat with, do you cook? I personally don't find it particularly cost efficient. But that's probably because I'm too lazy to make good freezable recipes. I think I'd like to start using a crock pot as well. I have this totally adorable male co-worker who is completley obsessed with coupons. I'm not even going to pretend like I'm not too lazy for that, but I would like to start cooking more, but only if it is cost effective. The other issue is that Mr. A and I don't tend to eat together in the evenings due to scheduling, so really I'm cooking for one as Mr. A isn't always into whatever I'm making. In the past, I've made large pots of soup or stew and eaten those for several days, but I'd like other options. Any suggestions? Any of you frequent crock potters? Do you find it cost effective?

ETA: I just saw this GREAT post at Princess Nebraska on how frustrating it is to be gluten free sometimes. As I walked through the aisles and saw all the stuff I could no longer have? I was pretty upset. I know in the grand scheme of medical issues, this is nothing huge. But there is a definite sense of loss there.

Halloweenie.

I'm a big old baby about Halloween stuff. I want to crawl under my bed and hide when I see commercials for the new Saw movie. I've been invited to go to a haunted house with friends and I'm trying to figure out a polite lie to get out of it. I don't watch scary movies and I don't like to be frightened.

BUT I DO LOVE RIDICULOUS THINGS! Which is why I think this costume is so awesome!



Yep, I totally want to be a flamingo for Halloween! But this costume looks pretty cumbersome. Especially that neck! What happens when you sit down? I don't want to know, so I need your help!

What are you going to be? Can I steal it? Remember, most of you don't even live in my area, so ya know, you can still be totally originally in your 'hood. HELP!

WHAT. . . . THE. . . . FUUUUUUUUUU.. .. . .

Okay, I get a lot of search terms that are bizarre. And occasionally some that are personally insulting (Slynnro is a snob has become quite popular as of late). And then? There's this:

which I don't even know how to qualify.

Also:

Morgan Freeman earrings? Don't tell me I'm not the only one who gets compliments from Morgan Freeman on their earrings. Morgan, you CHEATER!

Kay is sassy- HAHAHAHAH. She is. Can't wait to see that bitch at Thanksgiving.
(What? She's a female dog!)

Dude. You would not belive how many searches I get for "advantages of being a receptionist." The advantage? IT IS PRETTY EASY! Hey, don't get mad receptionists. I WAS ONE. I CAN SAY THAT.

And really, is Slynnro that hard to spell?

(And for the record, they're real. Just like my Yves Saint Laurent bag.)

Three Years.

Uh, how did that happen? I've been married for three years? I was talking to my friend Sunny on the phone today and she said that means I have an "established marriage." Which all sounds very adult. Which seems altogether inappropriate given that that marriage involves this man:

and this woman:




And we do things like this:



But so it is.

Happy Anniversary, Pooples!

J. Crew, We Gotta Talk.

I give J. Crew a LOT of postive press. On Twitter. On Fashion Find. On Slynnro's Clothes. So much so that people think I work for them. Seriously.

THEY DO NOT GIVE ME A DIME. Unless you count "Free Shipping" on my $750 purchase, which EFF YOU J. CREW. Those emails MAKE ME LAUGH. LOUDLY. And then I consult my J. Crew statement and cry.

Anyway.

This is why I can now commence mocking them without a moment of regret.

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT YOUR MODELS.

Specifically, this one:

This face? IS NOT MODELING.

What is she so surprised about?


That those shoes are $200? ME TOO LADY.

Or is it perhaps the inexplicable styling of this dress?

Or this one, which:

Cargo pants? Military style sweater jacket? Must be the uniform of the J. Crew Marines! I'd gladly enlist!

So would this lady, what with her Silver Shield/Purse. She can defend herself against a Medieval Mace with great ease.

DO NOT MESS WITH ME.

But then again, someone is looking too malnourished to support the weight of her cardigan, so maybe weapons aren't a possibility:

And her poor friend here appears to have developed osteoporosis or scoliosis or some kind of osis:


And what about Lil Miss Did You Notice My Bracelets? To answer her question, yes I NOTICED YOUR FUCKING BRACELETS.


This is a concept apparently foreign to J. Crew, but YOU REALLY DO NOT HAVE TO PUT ALL OF THE ITEMS ON ONE MODEL:

Seen also here:

She has on three shirts and a jacket. COME ON.

But really. What is up with the arm placement:

This one isn't even showing off jewelry!

Unrelatedly, OMG BUY ME THIS DRESS PLEASE.

And lastly, Martin and Osa, you will not be spared:


HONEY, LOOK! Over there! No, THERE SIMPLY ISN'T TIME TO LACE YOUR SKATES! YOU MUST LOOK NOW!

This, my friends, is me on Not Shopping.

I'm Doing It Again.

A post Mr. A will be pleased to see for certain over at Slynnro's Clothes. . .

My Pooples The Hero.

So, I came out to my car this morning to find this:


What is it? Did a crazy stalker leave me a love note?

Not quite.


There's only one man who calls me cuddles.


And he lives across the street from Banana Republic.

What was inside?

These earrings:


And this necklace:


When I called him this morning to say thank you, DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAID?

He said he bought the necklace because he knew I had been wanting to add to my necklace collection.

AND HOW DID HE KNOW THAT?

He read this post. On Fashion Find. MR. A READS FASHION FIND!

(Or apparently at least did this one time).

HUSBAND OF THE YEAR, My friends. Husband of the year.

And just to rub it in/make him look extra good, he also brought home a bouquet of flowers with his Eatzi's salad on Monday.

AND GUESS WHAT HE DID LAST WEEKEND!

A few weeks ago, after reading this month's Vogue piece by Jeffrey Steingarten about the candy shoppes of New York City, I declared that I wanted to go on a Candy Tour.

And Mr. A planned one! One night two weeks ago, he came home with a chocolate box from Chocolate Secrets and announced his surprise tour. On Saturday, we ended up only making it to three shops (including Candy Corn's in Snider Plaza and J. D.'s Chippery- rec for you Dallasites). Because we were totally sugar sick.

We sort of decided we were obsessed with Snider Plaza and wondered around for a few hours. Which brings me to my other non-braggy point.

I've been living in Dallas for a little over four years now. And I've finally come to terms with (and began to like) the city. So Mr. A and I have decided to get to know places that are Dallas traditions a bit better. Snider Plaza, the aforementioned HPV (ha!), smaller, lesser known restaurants. We need to do more and see more and be more involved. This town is now my home, so I might as well get busy.

I found a list on the D Magazine website, which lists out 52 things Dallasites MUST DO. I've done 14 of them, which I guess is pretty decent.

Noteably:

Shop Stanley Korshak- I'll do ya one better D- I got my wedding dress there!

Eat at El Fenix- DALLAS CITIZENS! El Fenix? IS DISGUSTING. Get thee to San Antonio ASAP where there is real Mexican food. Same goes for Mi Cocina and Taco Diner. BARF. REAL Mexican restaurants do not have contemporary decor. PUH-LEESE.

Attend the Oak Lawn Halloween Party- been there, done that, blogged it.

And I'll soon be adding another- dining atop Reunion Tower at 560, Wolfgang Puck's new restaurant!

Anyway, all this to say- how involved in your city are you? Do you care to be more involved? And why?

Things I Am Inexplicably Afraid Of/Fear Might Happen to Me.

1. Looking through peepholes.

2. Finding a dead body in the trash chute.

3. Finding a serial killer in the back seat of my car.

4. Under the bed.

5. Movie theater bathrooms.

6. Admitting that after years of holding out, I finally bought some fake Uggs. And I liked it.

In Response

1. The judge did in fact address the situation, in a professional manner, but also in a way that reflected the level of her disapproval.

2. I WON the case, SO THERE.

3. I was hooked up with my volunteering opportunity through the Junior League of Dallas, which in spite of it's snooty reputation is an amazing organization filled with women who truly want to make a difference (I am just as surprised as you are).

4. As I mentioned on Slynnro's Clothes today, I plan on volunteering with Dress for Success sometime in the near future. There's probably a location near you!

What You Might Not Know Is. . .

that I'm actually trying to win the title of Most Inconsistent Blogger. I'm doing quite well, don't you think?

So what have I been up to? Well, there was something involving this:


A DOG NAMED PRETZEL:

Who really should be a dog named COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS.

Because he is. Ridiculous, that is. Yessir.

Also very cute and cuddly. But damn is he also squirmy.

When I wasn't explaining the concept of Utilizing the Puppy Pads to Pretzel, I was volunteering at a fabulous woman's shelter meeting some pretty damn amazing and inspiring women who are so freaking tough and have been through so much more than I can possible imagine. I'd definitely recommend said activity to you, and I hope to do it again myself soon.

So it was something of an unfortunate shock after this weekend of empowering women to have the following experience at work today.

In front of A JUDGE (!!!), after I commented that it was quite warm in the courtroom today, a male attorney suggested that I take off my top if I was so hot.

Which, really?

Being a woman in a man's world, I've gotten a bit used to the unfortunate constant quips relating to gender, the ever-so-subtle commentary that really just isn't funny. Because it's easier to ignore it and it's easy to blow it off as a joke and because no one wants to be That Woman, the one that's offended by everyone. But dammit. These attitudes are all little pieces of the puzzle that lead us to live in a society that is FILLED with domestic violence. And women who continue to put up with it. And I for one will not be a part of that problem anymore. I'm going to stand up for myself, and my gender, and I'm not gonna take it anymore.

I'd encourage you to do the same.