My Horrible Very Bad No Good Day and Uh, a Late Thanksgiving.

I drafted this post today when I got to work after a series of VERY ANNOYING events occurred.  I was all kinds of whiny because them and well, ya know.  First day back after a holiday and all:

In the span of oh, AN HOUR, the following occurred:

1.  After spending FOREVER trying to find something clean to wear (freaking suits!), I finally did but it was linty.  So I was hastily lint rolling it up, as I was in a rush and already late when the lint roller thingy?  Flew off of the handle.  Not a big deal, except where did it land:

2.  I discovered when I got to my car I forgot to put on any jewelry.  Which is unlike me, but what really blows is forgetting to put on my wedding ring.  Those of you who are married know how irritating this is.  Not because I want the fact that I'm married ya know, out there or whatever, but because all day I kept frantically noticing I didn't have it on and had to remind myself it wasn't lost.  Also, today is the day I GOT ASKED OUT.  By a man with only gold teeth.  Coincidence?  I THINK NOT.

3.  On my way to work, someone pulled in front of me causing me to have to slam my brakes and sending my lunch onto the floorboard along with the ENTIRE CONTENTS OF MY PURSE.

4.  When I was pulling into the parking garage, I dropped my parking swipe dealy UNDER MY CAR.  So then I had to pull past the gate and walk over there and pick it back up.

5.  I have to walk a very long, very cold and mysteriously windy skybridge on my way to work.  After walking all the way across, I noticed that I left my phone in my car.

So I was all mopey and whatnot and feeling sorry for myself.  And then I saw on Twitter that a very dear friend lost her job.  Which uh, my problems?  Not so bad.  So I spent the rest of the day attempting not to gripe about my job, which was made surprisingly hard by my coworkers, who were all as whiny as I generally am about coming back after a holiday.  But ultimately, I am very grateful for a job I legitimately love and am entertained by (Gold Teeth!  A date!) and am so very sorry for my very smart and lovely friend who will GET A MUCH HAPPIER JOB NEXT TIME!

And my job isn't the only thing I'm grateful for today.  I'm also grateful for a husband who lets me mold his hair in all manner of exotic shapes while he reads and then (grudgingly) allows me to post photos here:

and the SHARK FIN!

Here's To You, Mr. SHOWSHISPENISATWALGREEN'S!

So, as I mentioned in my last post, I did a little perusal of my posting for oh, ALL OF NOVEMBER, and it has come to my attention that my blog lacks, what should I call it. . . . . CONTENT!  I don't even know why all you lovely people are still here!  I clearly suck!

The reasons for this are, I believe, twofold.

1.  All of my funny stories?  Happen at work, which is Totally Off Limits around here.  Even though these stories aren't work related per se, I just don't wanna go there.

2.  My blogging brain has turned off.  I used to have flashes of inspiration all the time!  Ridiculous things still happen to me, but for some reason, it never occurs to me to blog about them.

As an example of point number two, here is the story of a little incident that occurred last night, which only occurred to me as blog fodder a whole 24 hours later.

Yesterday evening, I kidnapped Mr. A and forced him to take me to Menchie's, which is my new obsession.  Afterwards, I forced him to drive me to Walgreen's so that I might use his credit card to charge up thousands of dollars in toothpaste and assorted body lotions.  I went inside alone and left Mr. A to playing with his car stereo, as I was on a Super Secret Mission.

You see, I told Mr. A I was only buying toilet paper.  But alas, I was not.  As I have documented around here many millions of times, I have the Stomach Trouble.  As a result of having the Stomach Trouble, I not-so-infrequently have to make embarrassing drug store purchases.  And this time not only did I have to make an embarrassing drug store purchase, I also had to purchase toilet paper.  Now normally, toilet paper is a rather innocuous purchase.  But it becomes somewhat less innocuous when coupled with the Embarrassing Purchase, which is alone embarrassing enough.

As I have had to make said Embarassing Purchase many times, I've become somewhat immune to the shame and horror produced by making the purchase.  But the embarrassment factor is upped when that purchase is made on:

1.  Saturday Night.

2.  With 3 male clerks at the registers.

3.  WITH TOILET PAPER.

So I was kind of shifting around the store, with Embarrassing Purchase tucked away under my arm (I swear one day I'm going to get arrested for shoplifting Embarrassing Purchase) unable to locate the toilet paper, as my Walgreen's recently moved everything around.

Ultimately, I located the TP and made my way to the cash register.  And when I came upon the registers, I found quite a ruckus.  Standing right next to the doors was a very disheveled, apparently homeless man PULLING HIS PANTS BACK UP FROM HIS ANKLES.

He was yelling at the clerk "Don't accuse me of stealing if you don't want to SEE IT ALL MAN!"

And the clerk was yelling right back at him "PUT THAT SHIT AWAY MAN!  AIN'T NOBODY WANT TO SEE THAT!"

And just like that, he "put that shit away" and left the store.

And while I made my Embarrassing Purchase, the clerks were all aflutter as a result of those most recent events.  My Embarrassing Purchase?  Wasn't so embarrassing anymore.

So here's to you, Mr. SHOWSHISPENISATWALGREEN'S!  Some people might call you crazy, some people might call you a thief, but I?  Call you a Real Man of Genius.

Thanksgiving and Black Friday in Pictures!

I spent some time with a famous advice columnist:

I cruised the San Antonio River:

I made Mr. A act like a jackass:

I made a mental note to get a new iPhone cover.

I visited historical monuments that I lived near for 18 years and never toured:

And I uh, shopped.  With the advice of Twitter:

And I realized my posts for the past few weeks are NOTHING BUT MATERIALISM.  Back with real content next week. 

Score any Black Friday deals?  I did!

Mascara Face Off!

(Much) earlier this year, I was lucky enough to be asked by BlogHer to review Estee Lauder's website.  As a part of that review, I ordered their Turbo Lash Mascara ($32.00 at EsteeLauder.com), which I was very impressed with.  I have repurchased this mascara with my own money.  Recently, I started seeing ads for a Maybelline knock off of this product called Pulse Perfection ($9.99 at Target). 

Ripe for comparison, they are!

Or not.  Because one mascara?  SUCKS.  And the other one is greatness.

You'll never guess which is which.  Or uh, you will.

First up, the Estee Lauder:

The Estee Lauder mascara has been applied, three or four coats, to both top and bottom lashes. of the right eye.  My eyelashes have not been curled.  THANK YOU LATISSE!

Aside:  I often see people saying to only put mascara on the top lashes.  THIS MAKES NO SENSE. You need it on top and bottom obvs.


With the eyes closed:

Note the nice, clump free and errant mascara free application.

And now the Maybelline:

This wasn't the best angle to view this, but I think you can still see.  The Maybelline is on the left side and you can tell that the lashes?  Are all clumped together.  This mascara is VERY CLUMPY.  There are both clots of mascara on the lashes, and large groups of lashes ended up sticking together.  It was, in my opinion, a total disaster.  I will say, however, I think it did a better job on the bottom lashes.

And with the closed eye you can see the real problem:

This photo better illustrates the clumpiness and the fact that the mascara?  Spead ALL OVER the lash line.

See:

This mascara also took FOREVER to dry, and after this picture was taken, I opened my eyes to find mascara bits all over the top of my eyelid from blinking.

And the most irritating thing about the Maybelline, other than ALL OF THE ABOVE?

In order for the vibrating action to work, there is a button you have to hold down the ENTIRE TIME you are applying the mascara which makes application + getting a good clean swoop on your lashes very difficult.  With the Estee Lauder, it vibrates as long as the wand is not screwed into the tube.  No button holding necessary.

And so goes another case of more expensive things being worth the cost.  I swear, one day I will find a comparable drug store product.  Any more suggestions?

The In Laws Gift List.

Kate recently wrote a post about the Super Sensitive Topic of the in-laws Christmas gift list.  Kate gives some great advice and has lots of logical regulations to govern her list.

My situation is a bit more complex.  Typically, I work up a list for Mr. A and he sends what he knows he isn't going to buy over as suggestions to my mother in law.  The complicated, and also great, thing is that Mr. A's parents are typically incredibly generous gift givers.  As are my parents to be truthful- we make out like bandits during the holiday season.  The only difference is that my mom prefers to go rogue with her gifts, generally rejecting any suggestions I might pass on.  Mr. A's mom, however, tends to heed my recommendations which makes things kind of difficult.  I typically send Mr. A a wide variety of items, in a huge price range, with the knowledge that he is probably going to pass on some suggestions to her.  But choosing an appropriate price range is HARD.  I certainly never want to assume that they are going to spend what they typically do- especially because that tends to be such a generous amount.  But at the same time, I want to pass on practical suggestions that I think she would enjoy giving.  My sister in law and I are the first "daughters" she's had to buy gifts for, and I think she takes some joy in finally having some girls to shop for!

I personally try to return the favor- I love gift shopping and I try to put a lot of thought in what I buy her.  Especially because she's had a lifetime of men buying the vast majority of her gifts.  And while Mr. A and his dad are always thoughtful, there are some things that only other women are going to think to buy as gifts.

So, I'm in the process of working up the Mother In Law List this year, and as usual, I'm having a hard time.  There are a few higher-end-of-the-scale items I would pass on, but I don't want to be presumptuous and as she typically buys several gifts, I want to send a variety of less expensive suggestions to leave room for things I've passed on and things she finds on her own.

And yes, I know. . . FIRST WORLD PROBLEM.

I am in LUST with this sweater in black:

But $148.00 is too much I think to pass on to MIL.  And something tells me this is not something Mr. A is going to want to buy!

This is probably a bit more reasonable, if on the high end as well:

For those of you that are curious, this top doesn't look like much here, but is super fantastic in person, and will be great for work or casual time!

I think jewelry is a great option, especially because it tends to be cheaper and requires no sizing information!  I'm in love with these chandeliers and this necklace (red or blue??):

And these are a great choice, at only $24, I've been looking to replace my lost pearl earrings. 

J. Crew's Instant Gratification Under $100 is also a great resource!  To give AND get!

At the higher end of the range is this sweater at $78 (Aubergine is a favorite winter color!).  And for a little less, I love these gloves at $49.

I'm on the fence about suggesting gift cards.  On the one hand, GUARANTEED YAY!  On the other hand, that's not a lot of fun for the gift giver.  MIL, queen of Totally Knowing my Taste, got me a Neiman Marcus gift card for a birthday a few years ago and it was just magical.  My mom always gives Mr. A a ton of gift cards from booksellers, as books are in my opinion way too personal to give unless you really know someone.  I don't even deign to buy Mr. A a book.  Anyway, I trust everyone who gives me gifts to know what are my favorite stores.

In terms of non-clothing items, I would love a subscription to Elle, Vogue or InStyle!  And that is a super cheap, super easy for the gift giver present.

I would also love a slow cooker cook book or something on soups.

The mecca of Sephora is also a great go to.  Anything Philosophy or Bliss?  YES PLEASE.  These Sephora Favorites gift sets are also a wise choice.  Last year, my mom got me the mascara set.  This year, I have my eye on the Shimmer and Shine set.  I also love the concept of the Deluxe Fragrance Sampler, which has several sample sizes, and the recipient can choose a full size of one of the samples!

A few other suggestions:

I tend to shy away from suggesting items on sale because they frequently sell out, especially because my sizes are really common.

However, this is on sale and I plan to pass it on (THE RED!):

I only suggest things from places that I know fit my typical sizes because I don't want to deal with the awkwardness of returns or exchanges.  I have no desire to ask my MIL for a receipt, for fear of creating the image that I didn't like the gift and am just looking for an excuse to make a return.

Unlike Kate, I do suggest clothes.  This works out well with someone who knows your tastes (for example, a few years ago MIL bought a shirt I'd been lusting for months about.  I had never told her- she just picked it on her own).  My MIL is unlikely to make a misstep, but I know I'm fortunate in this regard.  Enter at your own risk!

I also suggest picking items from stores that will allow exchanges without receipts, or returns in store for online purchases.  

How do you handle the inlaws gift list?  What do you buy them?  Do you do any of the in laws shopping, or do you leave that to your spouse?

Shower Rod FAIL.

I was all set to write a post about how my life has turned into a Cathy cartoon:

complete with a review of my beloved Wolford hosiery.

And then this happened:

FML.

And now I can't get the damn thing to stay up.


That's the kind of week it's been.  I start on something, and then that something falls on my face.

Argh.  Come on Thanksgiving!

Have I Got a Deal For You.

So in the past, I've shared my lust for the J. Crew Juliet Collection:

This collection may or may not have grown since it was last photographed.

I love these shoes, but even I, shoe overspender extraordinaire, recognize that $178 is a lot for shoes (I only purchased one pair at this price, FYI).  So allow me to introduce you to the BDG Suede Pump:

Which comes in a rainbow of colors for only $48.00!

HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO YOUR FEET!

EYESHADOW FACE OFF!

Okay ladies, this week it will be:

Available at LauraMercier.com, $22.00- Color Tested:  Guava

VS.

Available at Drugstore.com for $4.48 in Taffeta

A little background on my eye makeup routine- for nearly the past two years, I've been doing the same thing, day or night with my eye makeup.  First, I line my eye with a crayon eyeliner, then cover the entire lid up to the eyebrow area with a light pink shadow, and then make a thick line of a bronze shadow near the lash line.  It's simple, and it works for me.

I started using this routine after a makeover at the Chanel counter last summer.  I use Chanel Stylo Yeux Waterproof Long Lasting Eyeliner in Espresso, Chanel Ombre Essentielle Soft Touch Eyeshadow in Le Bronze, and then I pair that with either a Chanel shadow in Island, or the above Laura Mercier shadow.  I recently bought the Laura Mercier because it was cheaper.  I like it a lot, but for my money, nothing is better than the Chanel shadow.

But that's not why we're here!

My method here was pretty basic- I applied each of the shadows on different days and took a picture in the morning and the evening to see how they held up!

So, just based on these pictures, it looks like the performed about the same.  But in a not shocking move, I'm going to confess- I like the Laura Mercier better.  For a few reasons:

1.  When putting on the shadow in the mornings, the L'Oreal shadow would get very. . . scaly.  It was like it was clinging to my skin and you could see the pattern of my skin in the eyeshadow.  It was kind of snakelike.  This did not happen with the Laura Mercier.  I also just could not put it all the way up to the brow like I usually do.  HOLY METALLIC EYELIDS.

2.  In the package, they both look pretty similar, but the L'Oreal is much more metallic.  I don't care for that.

3.  Relatedly, I had a VERY HARD time finding single color eyeshadows at the drug store.  All of them came in quads or duos.  I don't like to buy my shadow that way, especially because I kind of hated many of the quads and they were in nonsensical color combinations.

4.  The cheap shadow flaked under my eyelids.  I also think the LM wore off more evenly- the cheap shadow was blotchy.

5.  You will definitely get more applications out of the Laura Mercier because it takes less shadow to get the color concentration you want.  As it should be, since the LM is four times as expensive.  It also blends more easily.

6.  I am not a professional photographer, and the bottom line is at the end of the day, the LM eyes just looked better.  

THAT SAID- I think the L'Oreal performed well, especially considering the cost difference.  I'm pretty damn nitpicky when it comes to cosmetics, and I think it was a good product- much better than drug store shadows I have used in the past.  If I were testing out a new look that wasn't a part of my everyday routine, I would certainly purchase the L'Oreal in the future.

No matter what brand you buy, the brushes you use are KEY!  I use a MAC brush my mom bought for me for Christmas, and I think that makes a huge difference in the application.  Even if you are using drug store shadows, splurge on a good brush.  They last for years and are so worth the cost!

UP NEXT- Concealers!  I'll be testing the Maybelline Dream Mousse Concealer, as recommended by Make Up Alley!

Latisse Update!

First, the last update, which was quite a while ago:

The left was my original lashes, and the right was a few weeks in.

and pics taken this morning:

Top is without mascara, bottom is with.  And no, my eyes haven't rotted out of my head yet.

Not Quite a Tradition, But Something.

I still haven't officially come up with a new tradition for NoImYoSeMo, however!  I want to start doing a regular blog segment. 

So, what I've come up with for the foreseeable future, I will be doing a Drug Store Product Review.  I've already purchased this week's product and have started using it for testing.  I will be comparing my favorite department store eyeshadow with a drug store version.

But I need an idea for next week.  What would you all like to see tested?  I'm going to try and buy the products on Saturday and review them on the following Friday.

SUGGEST AWAY!

The BIG Splurge.

What would it be?  Your one big shopping splurge?  If you could buy any one thing you wanted?  Something silly that is never going to happen, but would be your ultimate luxury item?

For me?

Either Louis Vuitton luggage:

(Which may or may not be a little gaudy.  I may or may not care.)

Or a Cartier Tank Americaine watch:

Note to Mr. A, I'd gladly settle for a Tank Francaise, which is a mere 1/10th the cost!  When I finally win my "I want an expensive watch" battle, which I've been fighting for years, this is what I plan on asking for.  And yes, Mr. A has a Rolex, and yes, it was a gift, and no I don't care- I still want my own fancy watch.

So what'll it be ladies?  Mr. A?  What is your big purchase fantasy?

Fightin' Words.

Someone, somewhere in a somewhat recent past wrote a post about fighting styles.  I cannot for the life of me remember who, but as Mr. A and myself are presently in a Bit of a Tiff, I was thinking about such things (if it's you, let me know).  And how completely antithetical our fighting styles are.  Here is an example of how a fight between Mr. A and Slynnro typically plays out:

Slynnro:  YELLING ABOUT SOMETHING!

Mr. A:  (pauses for 5-10 minutes LITERALLY to think of a response)

Slynnro:  OH MY GOD!  WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!  (storms off)

Slynnro:  (Does not speak to Mr. A for a ridiculously long time as she is queen of the silent treatment)

Mr. A:  (attempts to actually talk about issue)

Slynnro:  (IS FAR TOO MAD AT THIS POINT )

Yep.  As you can see it's real fucking productive.

That whole waiting 10-15 minutes thing?  That IS NOT A JOKE!  The longest Mr. A has ever taken to respond to a comment by yours truly in a fight was nearly an hour.  AN HOUR OF SILENCE.  DURING WHICH HE WAS NOT SILENTLY STEWING BUT INSTEAD ATTEMPTING TO THINK OF A RESPONSE.  Unfortunately for him, this silence only serves to strengthen my resolve that I am so totally right.

As you can imagine, that is completely infuriating for me.  But I also know that he is not doing it to make me even madder.  He really is thinking about things.  But it just doesn't work with my YELL ABOUT EVERYTHING RIGHT THIS VERYSECOND style of doing things.

We've reached, it often seems, a complete impasse.  I am a yeller.  He is a quiet thinker.  Who also just doesn't get that mad about things.  Which really only serves to make me madder because I see his inability to understand why I am so upset as him being insensitive to the things that are making me upset.

My incredible ability to remain silent is also pretty impressive/counterproductive.  And oh, ironic.  The longest I ever went without talking to him was two weeks after a BAD BAD BAD incident a few years ago after Thanksgiving in which he was SO TOTALLY COMPLETELY wrong about a BIG BIG DEAL and refused to admit it that I felt there was nothing more I could say (I'm still mad, btw, about that incident).

Our jobs probably play into this- I'm a litigator who is forced pretty much every day to think on her feet in front of a judge and god knows who else and argue with people who are many years her senior.  Mr. A generally does his work alone (though in thoroughly stressful conditions) and thinks through issues much more in his head than in a debate with other people.

So this is our cycle.  Neither one of us is right.  Neither one of us is wrong.  Which doesn't do much to resolve matters.

(I mean about the fighting styles, I GOTS LOTS of opinions about who is right and wrong in relation to actual issues that we were fighting about).

So how do you all handle such situations?  Silent treatment?  Yelling?  Or a glorious combination?

NoImYoSeMo: The List.

So here she be folks, The Official List:

1.  Plan a Trip with Mr. A to NYC- now obviously, this trip isn't going to happen in November.  But I want to make a concrete plan for it.  I've only been once before, and I was POOR POOR POOR and didn't get to eat anywhere nice or do much at all.  I would love to go back with him, especially since we haven't done any city vacation trips save for one to Chicago with his parents in 2007.

2.  The Pile on the Dryer from last year?  IS BACK.  I don't even know what half of that crap is.  NEEDS TO GO.

3.  Photo Wall- we have been talking about this for oh, THREE YEARS.  It's time. 

4.  New Bedding- DONE as of Saturday!

5.  Clean Bathroom INTENSELY weekly.  I pick it up day to day, but it really needs a serious cleaning more often.

6.  Fully Stocked Fridge- our fridge is a joke.  We don't even have basic condiments.  I'd like to have more stuff available that would make me apt to cook a bit more often.

7.  Clean Wooden Floors Weekly

8.  NO SHOPPING.

9.  Hang Up Clothes After Wearing- Every day, my suit ends up on the floor as soon as get home, costing me a fortune in dry cleaning.  And no, I don't like Dryel.

10.  Make the Bed More Frequently- Once the new bedding arrives, obvs.  I don't care until then.

11.  Crock Potting!- One good meal for me and Mr. A every week.

12.  Visiting People- I have plans to visit a friend and her new baby over Thanksgiving, but I'd like to make plans to visit Bunny in Oklahoma and get together for dinner at least when some people in town.  Bunny and I are also hoping to go visit Angela as well some time next year.  Maybe we can try and pick a time for that now.

13.  Read the Dave Ramsey Total Money Makeover book.

14.  Start a New Tradition. 

15.  Cooking Class with Friends- I'm planning on taking a risotto class with 2 friends in December.

16.  Weekly Work Task- There is a weekly task I have for work that I always put off.  It needs to stop.  It stresses me out.

17.  Reading Music-  I want to eventually relearn how to play the flute.  First, I need to figure out how to teach myself to read music again.  I know I won't complete this in November, but I'd like to have a plan to at least figure out how to go about reading music again.

So there are the goals!  If you are participating, please put your list in the comments, or link to your post!

My Halloween in Pictures.

So, I revealed my costume via Twitter on Saturday.  But I didn't post a pic of Mr. A's costume, as it really deserves it's own blog post:

CRAB KING!

NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH A KING CRAB!

(He is the King of the Crabs, not of the genus (or whatever the fuck) of crabs called King Crab)

Gettin' sultry with a chocolate covered pretzel:

Yes, Mr. A wears an "A" hat.  He went to Emory, in Atlanta.  He wants it to be very clear the A is not for his first name.

CRAB KING RULES WITH AN IRON FIST!

BUT HE ALSO LIKES TO DANCE!

Let us Hug It Out, King Crab: