Rock The Tassel.

(This post is long, but (and I never say this) is something I'm proud of.  Stick with it, please!)

If you read this site, or especially follow me on Twitter, you know that I have a new love.  A deep passionate love- for American figure skater Johnny Weir. 

There are a lot of reasons to love Johnny.  And one them, the most superficial one, is because he is well. . . fabulous.  He loves Balenciaga bags, he wears Cle de Peau concealer and MAC lipgloss.  He is over the top in the way you want your dream gay boyfriend to be.  If I am Carrie Bradshaw, I dream of having Johnny Weir as my Stanford Blatch.

Johnny Weir, however, is a whole hell of a lot more than my fetishized gay boyfriend.  He is above all, an amazing and articulate person and someone we can all learn so very much from.

If you have been paying attention to the Olympic figure skating coverage at all, you may be aware of some comments made by French and Australian broadcasters who were commentating on the men's figure skating competition. In brief, they suggested that due to his effeminate nature, he should probably be competing as a woman.  They compared him Caster Semenya, the South African runner who was asked to have gender testing done.  It was suggested that he set a bad example because other men and boys who watched him skate will "end up like him," presumably insinuating that they will become gay or unsatisfactorily too effeminate.  Not what a "real man" should be. 

Johnny Weir called a press conference to respond to the comments.

Some quotes:

"I hope that more children have the same opportunities as me, have the same parents as me, that lead me to be an individual, gave me freedom and taught me to believe in myself."

"I want them to think before they speak, not only for the person that they are talking about, but also for other people like that person."

"I want to be an example in some ways, even my gender has been questioned and I want that to be public because I don't want 50 years from now more young boys and girls have to go through this sort of thing, To have their whole life basically questioned for no reason other than to make a joke."

Think about that last line.  To have their whole life questioned for no reason other than to make a joke.

A few weeks ago, I posted about Tim Tebow and Focus on the Family, during which I referred to FoF as a hate mongering organization.  All of the comments I received were supportive and in agreement with my sentiments about that organization, save for one.  

Do you know anything about Focus on the Family? A hate mongering organization? Really???

If you actually knew something about Focus on the Family, you would understand that their organization is about people, and protecting LIFE. The Tim Tebow commercial didn't even say "abortion" or "pro life". It simply respected the choice his mother made, to keep Tim. And Focus on the Family respects and holds sacred LIFE. 

I responded in the comments to that post, but I want to talk more about this here and now.  I posted several links in response, directing people to a few of the numerous hate mongering acts of Focus on the Family. 

First, here we have a story about James Dobson (founder of FoF) indicating his opposition to H.R. 1913, legislation that would make sexual orientation a basis for hate crimes.  He called the legislation coming out of Washington "utter evil."  (This can be found by searching on this link for 5/14/09.) and that such legislation , sponsored by the "left," "damages morality and decency."  According to one of his guests, hate crime legislation is based on lie- a lie that hate crime and discrimination based on sexual orientation are some sort of epidemic.

Even more disturbingly, Focus on the Family publishes "A Parent's Guide to Preventing Homosexuality."  In the synopsis of the book, it states "for all those who seek a healthy heterosexual identity for children, you will find compassion and hope."  Read the reviews of the book published on that site if you want to lose all hope for humanity and human and civil rights.  Dr. Dobson posted a letter on his site from a young boy in a state Dobson terms "prehomosexuality," a boy of 13 struggling with being "different" and more effeminate than his classmates and suffering through being called a fag and other derogatory terms.  Dr. Dobson recommends engaging in typical male activities, such as playing catch, advising mothers to "back off a bit," and having the  father TAKE A SHOWER WITH HIS SON SO THAT THE SON MIGHT NOTICE THAT BOTH OF THEM HAVE A PENIS (this seems counterproductive to me).  He also goes on to blame homosexuality on lack of bond with one's father, and recalls a happier time when homosexuality was listed as a disorder in the DSM, or Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. 

Another solution offered by Dr. Dobson?  Focus on the Family is also associated with Love Won Out, which is essentially a conference on gay rehab, a way to fix the homosexual "problem."

Now compare the words of James Dobson to the words of someone who in their eyes represents all that is wrong with the world today.  And then tell me who supports life.  Tell me who holds life to be sacred.  Johnny Weir, who professes love and acceptance, and only advises those who preach hate speak to think about who is hearing their words and how they might respond to them, or James Dobson, who calls those who support the "gay agenda" to be evil.  The hypocrisy of the entire situation makes  me ill.

I agree with the commentor on one point, and it is something I discussed when the original Tebow ad came out.  The commercial?  Wasn't really about pro-life or pro-choice.  It was designed to draw traffic to the Focus on the Family website.  And these are the things that you will find there.  The question of how to  have respect for "life" goes beyond whether or not you are pro-choice .  It means having respect for all of mankind, grown or otherwise, and accepting people who are different from how you are.  It means not telling someone with a different sexual orientation that they need to go to rehab and fix what is wrong with them.  It means not telling someone that because they don't fit your ideals, or what you think is the way to live,  or they aren't what you would expect someone of their gender to be, that something is wrong with them and they must be fixed or else.  

I have a very close friend who is gay and I watched this person struggle with their fears about coming out and what it would mean for them socially and within their family.  And no one should ever, ever be made to feel the way that he did during that time because he is different.  And knowing THAT is having respect for life.

Moving on to this portion of the conference:

The most important thing said in this clip is this:

"I think masculinty and femininity. . .  its something that is very old fashioned."

Think about that for a minute, and the implications in that statement, not just for men but for women as well.   This could really be the slogan for any number of human/civil rights campaigns.  Letting go of the concept of traditional masculinity and femininity could end discrimination against men and women for a variety of reasons.  This isn't to say that we should let go of all traditional ideals of masculine or feminine, but instead let these definitions be considerably more malleable and modern.  And it would certainly be a large part of ending discrimination against homosexuals.  

And what do you know, Focus on the Family has something to say about this as well.  And shocker, its completely misogynistic AND homophobic!

"Under the banner of “gender equality,” culture and media have long been feminizing boys and masculinizing girls.. .Girls are told they can and should do everything boys do — and do it even better."

Yes, readers.  This is a BAD thing.

"By telling girls that they should rise to the top of their chosen careers while simultaneously trying to nurture their families, we place an enormous burden on them."

You see, ladies, by keeping you barefoot and pregnant, manly men of the world are just trying to lessen your burden.   

From a podcast called "The Woman's Role in Marriage:"

"There is not a feminist. . . who come and erase god's design for womanhood."

"I love to hear accomplished women describe themselves first as a homemaker."

"It is important for a man to provide for his family."
"I gave my checks to my husband when I was employed."
"Ladies, we need to make it possible for our husbands to provide for us and make any sacrifice necessary to allow it."

These statements were made in the context of a story about how the speaker used to work outside of the home until she got pregnant, and her husband throwing (literally) his first paycheck in her face with the statement "I finally make more money than you ever did."  And then a number of incidences in which her husband stopped her from doing something she wanted for his own selfish reasons and it turned out okay for her.  "God protects me through my husband." (edited to add:  I don't intend this to be a statement opposing those who live in marriages where they are willingly engaged in submission.  I do however, oppose preaching that the only Godly marriages are those that involve submission as described here.  That should be a choice for the two people engaged in the relationship).  My ultimate point? I think it would be easier to be in a respectful marriage if we put aside notions of what a man or a woman should be, or should offer to a situation, and accept ANYTHING a person has to offer, whether it be something manly or something a woman would typically offer.

I could go on and on about this, but I'll refrain and I think I'm getting a little off track here, thanks to the abundance of offensive items on the FoF website.  But my point, and Johnny Weir's point is this:  Let go.  Let go of the concepts and ideologies and stereotypes that enable us to put other people in what we think should be their place.  Find a way to respect, even if you don't embrace, other people's differences.  Because that is for the good of everyone, and that is the only way to truly Respect Life.

And these reasons to love Johnny Weir are a whole hell of a lot more important than this:

 No matter how embraceable, or unembraceable you find this side of him.

Lemonade of Lemons.

For better or for worse, I jumped on the Formspring wagon and I've been taking random questions from the internet.  For the most part, its been fun.  It's always interesting to see what people are wondering about you based on how you present yourself.  Not shockingly, there have been a small number of assholes who read this site because they hate me (HI GUYS!) who feel the need to pose rude and ridiculous questions.  I call these people assholes not because they read the site because of the great joy they get from hating me, because I do that all the time with certain bloggers and their sites, but because they can't shut up about it.  I read stuff I don't like all the time, and I either revel in the joy of my dislike, or I email a friend and bitch.  I feel no need to vomit up my distaste in their faces because what is the point?  Anyhoo, one such question poser asked this: 

To me you are so shallow and obsessed with yourself, your looks, your money, status, and shopping. How does Mr. A stand you? 

So I posed this question to Mr. A, and he answered it. So thanks, nasty hatemailer, for inspiring what follows: 

In no particular order, a sampling of things I like about Slynnro:

Slynnro is funny, and she has a great appreciation for humor. Not only that, but she is constantly looking for, and finding, some sort of humor, whether it is silly and childish or jaded and adult, in all aspects of her life. Slynnro's sense of humor and mine really aren't all that similar, but that is OK. The important thing is that she is willing and eager to be amused by all that is so stupid and odd about the world. I like being around that.

Slynnro is smart and highly capable, in that functional, get-shit-done sort of way that certain people are. I envy and admire that, because I often struggle when it comes to negotiating the nuts and bolts of the real world. I feel like Slynnro could handle just about anything that was thrown in her path.

Slynnro is tough, and not a complainer (except when it comes to travel and lodging, in regards to which she is a world-class whiner-monster). Sure, she complains and pitches the occasional fit (as we all do), but she doesn't wallow in self-pity or make an attention-hungry spectacle out of her misfortune (like a shockingly large number of women of her generation do). Slynnro handles stress very well, better than I do. Slynnro is just a trooper.

Slynnro has a strong and reasoned sense of who she is and what she believes in. As a result, Slynnro isn't afraid to speak her mind or stand up for herself. That takes genuine courage, and Slynnro has it in spades. Sometime I don't agree with the time or manner in which she displays this trait, but overall I can't help but admire and respect her for it.

Slynnro is witty and sarcastic. She is well educated and well traveled. She has adult tastes. Yet, what I like most about Slynnro is that she is still very much a kid at heart. Slynnro likes to be silly and exuberant and happy - in a way that makes me think that I have some sense of what she might have been like as little girl.

A lovely end to a bitchy beginning, I think.  Happy Friday everyone! 

Pants. Pants That VIOLATE YOU.

Mr. A gets into bed.  It is dark in the room.  I snuggle up to him.

"POOPLES!  What are you wearing?"

". . . "

"Are you wearing sweatpants?  THOSE ARE VIOLATIVE PANTS!"

You see, as Mr. A is something of a human furnace, a burning object which I cannot stand to sleep anywhere near.  As such, he is not allowed to wear anything that might further fan the flames of said furnace to bed.

"Violative pants?"

"YES VIOLATIVE PANTS.  You know the rules.  And you have broken them."

He whines.

"No excuses! VIOLATIVE PANTS!"

And the next day:

"Are you folding up your Violative Pants and putting them away?"

"I can never wear them again."  (said with GREAT WOE)

"Yes you can!  You can wear them when I am not here!  Or when we get divorced!"

"And then they can be Divorced Pants!"

Wouldn't Violative Pants be a great line of pants?  I want to create a line of pants that violate all manner of things.  Senses of Decency!  Social Norms!  A Variety of City Ordinances!  VIOLATIVE PANTS!

In the meantime, I've become sort of obsessed with getting my own a different manner of Violative Pants.

Yes, ladies, I want some Pajama Jeans.

But here's the problem.  Pajama Jeans?  Cost like $40.  People!  I saw a pair of J Brands at TJ Maxx for $50 (WHY DID I NOT BUY THEM?  WHY?).  How can I pass on those and spend $40 plus shipping on fucking Pajama Jeans?  I don't know.  But I sure am thinking about it.  Has anyone taken the Pajama Jeans plunge?  Anyone wanna donate $40 to the cause?  Think of how many rules of fashion I could be violating...

Wisdom Teeth Wisdom.

A few pieces of advice for those of you who have to get your wisdom teeth out:

1.  Get your teeth out during the Olympics.

2.  Become obsessed with Johnny Weir:

3.  Marry a man who will bring you all of the tortilla soup you can eat.

4.  If you think you know yourself to be someone who likes to shower frequently, think again.

5.  Brushing your teeth is overrated.

So yeah, this week.  Well.  I have been quite an impressive lump of useless tissue.  Going into this, I thought oh, I will be out of service for a day or two and then totally milk my surgery for an extra day off or so.from work.  WRONG.  I am WIPED.  THE EFF.  OUT.  I have been so tired all week it has blown me away. 

Over the past few weeks a lot of people warned me "Oh, that surgery knocks you on your ass."  "I was tired for weeks," blah, blah, blah. And over the last few weeks I was all outwardly "sure, wow, yeah" and inwardly I was all "Oh-grow-a-pair-you-big-old-babies-do-you-have-any-idea-who-you-are-talking-to-two-root-canals-and-a-dental-implant-last-year, bitches?  I GOT THIS."

I was wrong.

I have a history of not tolerating anesthesia particularly well.  I did okay this time with NO nausea (and thus, no need for those dreaded suppositories), but the exhaustion has been overwhelming.  Let's just say this:  If my phophesy is true, and I accidentally become pregnant some time in the next two years (because I totally think this will end up happening to me for no other reason than OF COURSE IT FREAKING WILL), Mr. A?  The first oh week or so after the baby?  Yeah, that's on you.  Because this bitch needs to lay down.  I cannot even imagine attempting to care for a helpless being after giving birth/having a cesarean.  Yeah, I did have a surgery involving the violent removal of something, but that something was neither the size of a human, nor from my....nether regions/abdomen.  And yet here I am, completely devoid of energy or motivation to do anything but push refresh on my computer. 

To say that the thought of going in to work tomorrow is daunting is a gross understatement.  But I've got to get out of here soon or I'm gonna end up making some Johnny Weir fan art and well, I just don't want to go there.

Or maybe I do.  Damn, he's fabulous:

Today, I Shall Not Gripe.

Sure, it's annoying to be relegated to a liquid diet for a few days.  But I got nothin' on Roger Ebert (yes, of Siskel and Ebert).  Read this piece from Esquire, and you are certain to feel okay about your problems.  I also recommend following him on Twitter.   He has an amazing sense of humor about his new reality.

Thanks for all the kind emails, comments and DMs!  Feeling pretty good- jaw pain, but nothing terrible.  Mr. A has been an excellent nurse, cooking up all the gluten free mashed potatoes one could desire!

OH SHIT.

I'm back, with 4 fewer teeth.  Which is apparently permanent.  Aw, hell.  I wanted to get bigger ones implanted.

Edited to Add:  

Mr. A:  They gave you some suppositories along with your pain meds.  I don't know what that's about.

Slynnro:  Fow nawseah.

Mr. A:  I'll let you decide when and how you want to exercise that option.

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood....TO DIE!

So, as you may have picked up on via various media outlets and oh, my Twitter account, Thursday was a crazy day in Dallas.  But the good kind!  11 inches of snow blanketed the city which meant Snow Day on Friday and general prettiness all around town.  Sure, my electricity was out for 12 hours, but that's old hat around here at this point, so no biggie!

 Like the City Dwellers that we are, we built ourselves a snow man.  In the grocery store parking lot.  We are so urban!

Mr. A even made a snow angel:

 in....the parking lot of the bar across the street.  Whatever.

Our neighborhood was still pretty:

And I claim Dallas has no trees, when clearly we have at least 10.

The Sushi restaurant down the street even built this awesome snow dog:

 

 

There were snowball fights and warm bowls of soup.  Oh how lovely!

And then on Friday night, shit started to fall apart.  First, went to Victory Park, the unfortunate location of some NBA All Star weekend activities, which DOUCHEFEST 2010.  Like, even more so than usual.

And then today, the snow.  Was not so pretty.  In fact, it was downright gross:

Don't get all Oprah on my ass, I wasn't using my phone while driving.  I was sitting in horrible accident traffic on the side of the highway.  Traffic which caused a fifteen minute drive to take over an hour.

Traffic was mysteriously heavy all over the city.  But tonight, as I checked out WFAA, the local news station's website, I may have found some reasons why:

Do click to enlarge, for extra horror!

We have the following:

1.  A gorilla that escaped from the zoo.  Which happens like EVERY DAY here.  For real.

2.  A dead body found in a car on the expressway, the expressway on which I drive to go EVERYWHERE.*

3.  A bomb on a different interstate (which, I watched that video.  The suspect?  A female terrorist who is on the no fly list because of an incident where she pulled a grenade on someone in a ROAD FREAKING RAGE incident)

4.  A car crashing into the airport terminal.  The airport I fly out of ALL THE TIME.

5.  I'm just ignoring that torture/murder thing since it happened to a Dallas resident in Pennsylvania.

So yeah.  Awesome day in the city, no?

Thank the lord I'm married to a dude that says shit like this to keep me sane:

Happy Valentine's Day, kids!

*When I lived in Austin, I worked with a girl from Dallas, who used to berate me for calling Central Expressway "75."  "Nobody who lives there calls it 75!"  Yes!  They do, girl!  I have lived here for 5 years and I call it 75, as does EVERYONE I KNOW.  I WIN.

Advice Welcome. Hell, Ass-vice Too!

So next week on Tuesday, I'm getting my wisdom teeth out.  After 29 long years of avoidance, the bell has tolled.  The piper has piped.  The fat lady has sung.  The teeth are coming out!

What should I have around to eat?  Any tips for dealing with the situation?  Avoiding dry sockets?  What to do if I get dry sockets? 

Dangerous Territory.

Other than ACQUIRE ELECTRICITY, I had only one other objective this weekend- refrain from commenting (because I couldn't do it as eloquently as this guy) on Tim Tebow's Anti-Choice Super Bowl commercial.  This goal was mostly achieved.  I also wouldn't be able to express my feelings as well as this ad by Planned Parenthood does. 

Isn't it nice how Mother Tebow was allowed to make her OWN CHOICE about her body?  I hope that women everywhere continue to have that right.  And while I don't want to drive ANY traffic to the Focus on the Family website, which was the entire point of the ad, I do encourage you to read up on this homophohic, hate-mongering, misogynistic organization.  While I am in no way assuming the ideas of that organization are the same of Tim Tebow's, I am thoroughly disgusted by both is taste in suits and his allegiance with Focus on the Family.

Blog Sale- New Items and Reductions!

Two new items in the Blog Sale today!

Marc by Marc Jacobs bag- $45!

J. Crew Patent Leather Tote- $40!

Other remaining items were reduced!

Jimmy Choo for $200

Ferragamo for $40

The Night the Lights Went Out In Dallas.

Sooooo, the weekend?  How's yours?  If you follow me on Twitter, you'd know that mine got off to a bumpy start:

 

So, Mr. A didn't pay the bill.  While I was irritated at the Situation:

I'm no stranger to forgetting to pay a bill.  Like that one time I studied abroad in Costa Rica for the summer and came home with my water shut off.  I made that discovery after vomiting the second I walked into my apartment due to a nasty case of food poisoning acquired via a BLT eaten in Guatemala.  I would take this opportunity to issue a warning about not eating bacon in Guatemala, but NO ONE (but me) IS DUMB ENOUGH TO EAT BACON IN GUATEMALA. So I spent the next few days on my friend Sunny's couch, intermittently vomiting and trying to figure out how to fix my car, which CAUGHT ON FIRE the day before I left.

Anyway.

Mad or unmad, being 1.  Really cold (Yes, I know its not Snowpacalypse cold here, but it was in the 30s at night) 2.  Totally Fucking Afraid of the dark, and 3.  In no way prepared for any sort of "camping" situation:

something had to be done.  And that something was a migration to the Stoneleigh Hotel.

Obviously, we brought The Bear.

Note to Mr. A, this is what I want by bathroom to look like when I grow up:

I highly recommend The Stoneleigh if you visit Dallas.

The next day after check out, we made the short trip back home to check on the electricity status.  On the way there, I decided to play this song and hope for the best:

Efficacy?

To be clear, the bulk of my rage is that this was over a $140 balance.  Which isn't even a month of power around these parts.

Eventually, much later in the day, power returned and joy was restored in the land!  I made the executive decision to recover from the horrors of my weekend (sarcasm people, sarcasm) by utilizing a spa gift card at Spa Habitat.  But fret not, I still managed to gripe about that:

Blog Sale! Blog Design!

My Blog Clothing Sale is up!  Lots of goodies to peruse, and more coming soon!

The Blog Sale and Fashion Find have new looks courtesy of the lovely Krameymartin!  Check out her Etsy shop if you are looking for a new blog design.  Reasonable prices and adorable designs!

So what's for sale?

J. Crew Lulu Peeptoes, worn once, size 10

Brand New $400 Vera Wang dress, $100

Salvatore Ferragamo for $50

And much more!

Around the World in 180 Days. Or So.

Today, another couple that Mr. A and I know announced that they are quitting their jobs and doing the whole "trip around the world" thing.  This would be the second couple we know that have made this same announcement (this should be one of the responses to "you might be a yuppie if. . .").

I would love to be able to do something like this.  But I simply can't.  For a LOT of reasons.

While Mr. A is generally the worrier between the two of us, having no income for 6 months or longer, and no guaranteed income when that period is over, is not something I could ever mentally deal with.  I think this is one of the reasons that everyone can relate to.  

I also couldn't really deal with the idea of spending a very large portion of our savings on such an endeavor.

But my other reasons?  Considerably more lame.

The truth is, I like routine.  And while I do love a good vacation, at the end of the week, I'm generally okay with going back to my home.  And my things.  And my familiar bed.  And my stuff, OH MY STUFF. 

I'm also not cut out for staying in hostels or whatever manner of a budget lodging and methods of travel that would be required in order to afford such a trip.  I could handle such a thing for a manner of days, but months on end?  I couldn't deal.

While Mr. A and I do travel well together, I know that this would certainly NOT be the case after several weeks.  Too much time together spells TOO MANY FIGHTS.  We need our time apart.  Mr. A and I naturally sort of loners, and even though we make exceptions for each other, those exceptions do not cover months and months of time together in a situation that would surely allow us no separate personal space.  

I just know, KNOW, I would eventually break down.  At some point, some thing would set me off.  Some plan gone awry, some missed flight, some THING, would set me off into a tailspin of whining-I-wanna-go-home-ness, and I would be a mess.

These things may be sort of sad, but they are nonetheless true.

What are your thoughts on this kind of thing?  Do you think you could do it?  Do you think your spouse would do it?  Do you know anyone who has done it?