@OleWaxy

If you're not following my husband on Twitter, you're making a giant mistake:

It's also a shame you don't all get to live with him, as he regularly does things like this:

And says things like this:

Lest you think I was kidding:

Ole Waxy is actually not obese, but a victim of poor clothing choices and being photographed next to an incredibly skinny stick.

Mi Casa Es Su Casa. . . To Decorate.

So, on Thursday I was able to finally tour the unit that we will move into on July 10 (it was previously occupied) and I was relieved to see that I LOVE it.  We were moving for two primary reasons:  more space (from 1100ish square feet to 1550ish square feet) and PEACE AND QUIET.  I love our current location, but we are right next to a bar and living amongst people we are just a few years too old to deal with.  I was very pleased to get on an elevator with a 40 year old man when I was touring the new place.  Hallelujah!  We are the young ones!  

So here's the new place:

Love the built in desk- we'll put a small dining table in that area.

The second bath, tall travertine stall shower on the other side:

This is the master bedroom.  We have floor to ceiling windows with pull down shades- I plan on putting giant planters with succulents and cacti on the patio here so we can pull the shade down all the way to the top of the planters so we can see them when we are inside the bedroom.  I am lamely excited about this.

The heavenly master bath:

This shower makes me SO HAPPY.

The patio spans the full length of the apartment and there are floor to ceiling windows in both bedrooms.

OMG I CANNOT WAIT TO MOVE.

So tonight I ordered this quilt to go on the bed:

But they don't have the shams anymore (BOO!).  So I need some shams to go with.  Suggestions?  How about these:

Are they too formal?

These are PERFECT, but seriously, $89 EACH?  Eff you, Restoration Hardware.  These are reasonable, but only in Euro.  Are these too boring?  These are probably the most logical. 

These from Pottery Barn are perfect (even though Ole Waxy would hate them), but not available in king:

The issue is I'd like to have some color in the shams, but that seems to be impossible without buying something too formal.  ARGH.  Ideas?  I plan on buying navy sheets.  What about accent pillows?

I plan on painting the wall behind the bed a gray/blue.  Not sure what I'm going to hang on the wall, but uh, IT NEEDS TO BE CHEAP.  Ideas there?  I'm never gonna convince Ole Waxy to go on vacation again at this rate...

One thing I know we do plan on buying is some of these Clark Little photos of waves.  We are ocean people and these photographs are amazing.  Any favorite Etsy print shops? 

I'm on a Boat Mother @#$(*&!

So, for some reason, I cannot let this romper thing go.  I have been DETERMINED to find a damn romper.  I am not sure why, maybe its because Mr. A likes to talk about the OAF romping around all day in our apartment when we are at work, or maybe its because I just really miss my HealthTex gear of elementary school.  Whatever it is, I WANNA ROMP!

So after the Ella Moss debacle, I ordered another romper from Forever 21, which is sadly sold out online, for a whopping $12.90.  Because well, with a new apartment and movers and new furniture, there really isn't any money in the romper budget this month.  And lo, it was cute.  Really cute:

Even though this particular romper is unavailable, there are several similar styles up, that will have the ass coverage we really need.  This romper is a size large.  I've developed something of a sixth sense for what items at Forever 21 will run small, and I suspected this would be one of them.  The large is a little big, but I kind of like it being blousy like this.  

I also kind of want this romper too:

 check out the completely awful airbrush job on that model's legs....

Fret not, AliMartell, I still don't plan on buying a jumpsuit.

I also ordered this dress, which is absolutely fabulous in person, and looks far more expensive than it actually was:

It is sadly also sold out, but very similar style here. I purchase this in a medium, which was very roomy.

While Mr. A reports that he actually likes the romper, something tells me he won't be keen on this number:

Regardless of Mr. A's thoughts on the matter, to me both looks beg for me to be picked up on a yacht whilst wearing a floppy hat.  Sadly, no such yacht trip is planned, so if you would like to see me sporting these looks, I suggest you look behind your local Home Depot, where I will be scavenging for boxes for our upcoming move.

Probably Not Likely to Be Animated Any Time Soon.

So, as I mentioned last week, when we were in San Jose, there was also a Fanime convention going on near our hotel.  It was the subject of much curiosity, and quite a few jokes, both during the wedding and after.  So imagine, my shock to get an email from Mr. A declaring that he saw a similar scene in dowtown Dallas the weekend following the wedding, as the convention had moved on to a new locale.  Excitedly, I sent my wedding companions a text to inform them of the scene.  In my haste, I made a bit of a typographical error.  See if you can spot it.

I didn't notice, until one my friends responded a few days later in person.  You know that text you sent?  IT SAID FAMINE.

For some reason, every time I think about this I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING.  FAMINE!  Mr. A saw famine downtown!  I know famine isn't funny, but this text is.  I was just SO EXCITED about the famine!What is my problem?

Yeah, so that's all I got.

Romp in a Romper? I THINK NOT.

So, many of you asked about the Slynnro Leg Workout.  I've hidden the post because uh, EMBARRASSING PHOTOS.  I'm thinking of adding it to a private blog and then just doing invites if there is enough interest in it.  As far as the arm workout goes, well.  I have naturally thin arms.  If I do MINIMAL weight training on them, they bounce right into shape.  Sorry- I have no miracles here.

Speaking of hoping for a miracle, last week, I gave in and ordered a romper.  Yes, I know.  There are a few trends I have taken an absolute NO stance on, and later given in- leggings, skinny jeans, statement necklaces.  I have, however, held fast on a few things to- I still say no to jeggings, leggings as pants, prairie floral prints, cargo jeans, to name a few.  And until recently, rompers.  Yes, the name bugs me, though the term "playsuit" bothers me much more.  But then, slowly but surely, my guard on rompers started to come down.  I started to get romper-curious.  And one day I found myself searching for rompers all over the internet.  And then I found one and I ordered it (its from Ella Moss, necklace is H&M):

And well, I think its cute.

But then I saw myself from behind.  And my ass, lo it looked huge.

So yeah, I don't know what the point of this post is, except. . . . BEWARE OF ROMPERS.  They are liars.  Yeah, that's about it.

Welcome to my Bedroom.

I have had the WEEK FROM HELL.  SO!  Instead let's talk about more merry things, like My New Furniture!

After scoping out Crate and Barrel AGAIN on Sunday (a solo mission as Mr. A is either having a very intense, time consuming affair or he is at work all the damn time).  After that trip, I made a final choice on the bed:

The TATTERSALL! YAY FOR DECISIONS.  Or not so much because the Tattersall in King Size:

So sadly, I moved on.  To the Jackson bed set:

And then I was like wait!  I don't want a matchy match bedroom set!  I want an upholstered bed.  SO!  New plan....maybe.  I found this bed that I really like at Room and Board:

So then, the plan became this bed + Jackson dresser and bedside tables.  But of course, I don't want the bed in the stock color.  I want the bed in the custom order color, which is going to take a ridiculous 10 weeks to make plus 3 weeks delivery.  Which, SERIOUSLY?  So I've ordered some fabric samples to see which color I like and make sure I like the material and that it is not too velvety.  

So, what do you think about this plan?  I hate the idea of moving in and waiting a whole 'nother month for my new bed (we'll sleep on our current bed, which is going in the guest room).  But I THINK this is what I really want.  What do you think of the Room and Board bed vs. the Jackson bed?  (Mr. A is on team Jackson, but is smart enough to defer to me on this matter).  Do you know of anyone who makes beds like this that won't take nine years to produce?  HELP!

Hodgepodge.

Things going on in my life right now:

On Sunday, I made Mr. A buy me a shredder.  There are a bunch of old credit card bills that need to be tossed, and I don't feel like spending half an hour cutting them up with scissors, unable to feel secure that I cut them up enough in a fit of obsessive compulsive paranoia.  The shredder cost $19.95.  Mr. A was enraged about said purchase:

"We don't need a shredder!"

"Yes, we do."

"No we don't."

"It doesn't really matter what you think, we're getting a shredder."

"I know."

In Target parking lot:

"As usual, this is a trick!  I'm going to load up my cart with 10s of items for which I have no need and will immediately forget about!"

I was kidding.  Until I found these running shorts, which I also forced him to buy.  Relatedly, they are great Nike knockoffs.  Unfortunately, they don't have the built in briefs, which I used to hate and now love.

Speaking of healthy related things, today I went to My Fit Foods because I had a Groupon.   Dudes, if you live in Dallas, Houston or Austin, you have to try this place!  Tonight for dinner, I had the Chicken Taco Bowl, which while in dire need of salsa and salt, was excellent.  The ingredients are really high quality too.  Most of it is also gluten free.  And yes, I know I defeated SOME of the purpose by covering my meal in salt, but I'd rather die thin and of whatever salt kills you of than overweight and of heart disease.  And I gotta have one- fat or salt.  I'd rather look good in a swimsuit while dying an untimely death.

In other body related news, on Saturday I started doing the Slynnro Leg Workout again and HOLY SHIT I AM SORE.  But after Sunday's flabby trip to the pool, I very much realized IT WAS TIME.  I haven't gained any weight, but OH THE SOFTNESS.  In the pictures from the wedding last weekend, my arms looked rather mushy, but lucky me- I've been doing my arm workout for a week and VIOLA muscle arms.  Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.  My ass is still plenty totally disproportionate relative to the rest of my body.  Life!  It evens things out!

Speaking of the pool, I could not go to my stupid frat party pool on Saturday like I wished because it was well, a stupid frat party chock full of (presumably) slutty bitchy looking girls and dudes playing water volleyball (gag).  I sat at my window, staring into the pool lamenting my situation until I remembered, I KNOW SOMEONE WITH A NICE PRIVATE POOL.   Why do you deny me, Cheesefiend?  I'm coming to your pool RIGHT NOW.  Relatedly, I was also secretly glad that I am old enough that I no longer have to pretend to enjoy going to the pool with 97 of my closest friends.  I find pools full of people to be TOTALLY GROSS.  Seriously, when I see pictures on my Facebook of people in pools full of people, it actually stresses me out.  AND I AM NOT EVEN THERE.  What is my deal?

Another issue related to the pool- Jergens tanning lotion stuff.  Do you people use this?  I want to, and I did put some on my legs, but uh, that is going to make for an interesting tan huh?  But if I put it on my upper body, then I have to put it on my face and that scares the shit out of me.  Tips on this situation?  Do you all actually put that on your face?  

I have an important furniture inquisition for you all, but I'm going to refrain from posting it for fear that none of you will answer my important tanning related questions if I post them both.  So, go forth!  Advise!

ALSO!  IMPORTANT NOTE!  In your comment, please put your URL somewhere.  The comment system I have sucks, but I have to use it or lose 5 years worth of comments and I don't want that.  But I can't ever click over to read your sites and I miss that.

Birthday Wish List Time!

My birthday is coming up next month, and its a BIG one (I'm officially old).  As such, I figure I should get well, everything I'm asking for.  Don't you agree?  I'm sure Ole Waxy does.  So here's what I've got my eye on!

Tory Burch Gingham Cosmetics Case, $75.00

Viktor and Rolf Flowerbomb Fragrance, $75.00

Shang Yuan Earrings, $28.00

Strawberry Lemonade Necklace, $38.00

Double Torsade Necklace in Turquoise, $28.00

Kendra Scott Carly Earrings in Jade, or Smoky Quartz, $55.00

Michael Kors Palm Beach Sandal in Gold, $95.00

Marc by Marc Jacobs Willis Dress in Red, $193.50

Michele Urban Black Dial Watch, $389.00 (on sale) (regular price here)

I have a Mini Urban with a regular dial right now, but it is DYING.

Kate Spade Kylie Pump in Purple, $208.60 on sale here, or here in camel.

Daphne Necklace from Coach, $98.00

When I started writing this post, I was all "I can't think of anything I want!"  

OH ME, YOU CRACK ME UP.

In Which I Post Photos of My Trip and Pretend You Care.

othewise known as a Friday post.

On Thursday, I flew out to San Jose solo because Mr. A was stuck at work.  I had an entire day to kill, and I spent much of it with Regan and this adorable fellow:

Truman, also know as the Most Well Behaved Baby of All Time.  

Truman loves Louboutins- no really, he smiled at them and the shoe guy, so obviously Regan had to buy these, which I will be requesting for my birthday:

Special note to Ole Waxy- size 41, call the Nordstrom in San Jose.  Yes, please.

That evening I went to watch the bride get her Mehndi done for the wedding.  And even got some myself, which now looks less pretty, more HORRIBLE SKIN DISEASE.

The brides was amazing, and took over six hours to complete:

After a 24 hour day, Mr. A and I made our way to Monterey for the night in the shockingly swank Intercontinental The Clement Monterey.  The next morning, we made the 17 mile dive, and continued down the PCH to Big Sur and back.  It was incredible (except for the parts where we had to pull over for Mr. A to Blackberry and cell phone talk about work stuff- the man never quits):

I LOVE THE OCEAN SO MUCH.

WHITE PANTS ALI MARTELL.  WHITE FUCKING PANTS.  (I'll have you know that I created a White Pants fan page JUST TO PISS OFF ALI MARTELL).

On the beach in the delightful Carmel-by-the-Sea, where we ate a delicious lunch.

Dear Mr. A- GET A HAIRCUT.

It was windy.

Thankfully, we had safe transportation.

I really cannot recommend this drive enough.

On Saturday, we went to the Monterey Bay Aquarium and saw, among other things, OTTERS!  Which, OTTERS! are fucking cute, yo.

Then drove back up to Monterey for the couple's roast, which BRILLIANT IDEA.  So funny! 

I love this dress, but it photographs REALLY FAT.  BOO!

The hotel we stayed at, the Fairmont Monterey, was hosting an anime convention while we were there.  Which was the only thing that could compete with an Indian wedding for voyeuristic value.

And ya know, some people think blogging is weird, and I try not to judge, but man, these Fanime people took themselves SO SERIOUSLY.  Lighten up.  You are dressed as a cartoon character.

The wedding was visually amazing, and the Hindu ceremony is really beautiful and full of fantastic symbolism.  The Hindu priest did a really great job with making the ceremony understandable for those of us not familiar with the religion, which was a real feat considering that much of it was in Sanskrit.

GANESH ON ICE!

This is kind of a shitty picture, but the bride's reception dress was incredible.  And it weighed like 25 lbs.

Not my best angle.

Mr. A's tie had SUPER COOL dolphins on it.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand that's it.  I had a fantastic time, and I really cannot recommend enough San Jose/Monterey/Carmel as a three day weekend trip.  It was so nice to take a break from 95 degree humid Texas days.  Like the ones I'll be experiencing this weekend, when it is supposed to be ONE HUNDRED AND FOUR.