Let's Get Physical (I'm Betting I've Already Used This Title).

Whew.  I'm TIRED.  My in-laws have been in town all weekend, which is not at all unpleasant (NO REALLY I LIKE THEM).  But I was a busy bee- hanging out with them, noshing on fancy food, going to birthday parties after that at the Ritz Carlton (y'all.  I stayed out until TWO IN THE MORNING.  And had many nonsense conversations with Chelsea and Brian about sinus surgery and how Brian is going to make me a millionaire with this here blog {DUDE.  I AM WAITING}).  And then today, I had to get up extra early to tend to my new fitness regimen before brunching, and well, that's the whole point of this post (fitness not brunch) so let's get with it.

I've continued to struggle with my workout motivation periodically really for the last year, and so yet again, I am trying to revamp my system and based on this past week, I am really excited about what I'm working on now.

So, here's my schedule:

Monday- Tabata at Equinox- this involves some super exhausting, soreness inducing interval training- 8 20 second intervals of various cardio exercises (jumping jacks, lunges, etc) with 10 second rest periods.  You kind of want to die afterwards, and you kind of feel amazing afterwards.  And then you are sore for 6 days.  Highly recommended.

Tuesday- 1 hour cardio machines at Equinox.  I'm doing my "get back into it" method of doing 6 ten minute intervals on every single cardio machine available at my gym.  I can do anything for 10 minutes, or at least that's what I tell myself.

Wednesday- Pure Barre with Kate.  I've done this workout twice and I'm pretty hooked already.  This is not cardio and probably won't help you lose any weight, but it is fabulous for toning and strength.  And ya know, awesome if you are into hip thrusting with strangers.  But fret not, non-dancers- it's not dancing or ballet.  It's just you, and your burning, shaking muscles.  Ok, with the occasional ball between your knees.  I promise, it's not as awkward as it sounds.  I am going to attempt doing this twice a week.

Thursday- 1 hour cardio at Equinox

Friday- OFF.

Saturday- I wanted to do a second round of Tabata- it's only offered on Monday and Saturday, but my inlaws were arriving at a time that would not allow me to make the class.  I had intended on doing an hour of cardio before they arrived, but I was too tired in the morning.  Going forward, however, Tabata it is.

Sunday- I had only intended on doing Pure Barre on Sunday, however, since I missed Saturday's workout, I went in at EIGHT AM and did an hour (okay 50 minutes) of cardio and then took a Pure Barre class in the afternoon.

YES.  It seems like a lot, but with all the variety?  I'm actually ENJOYING working out.  Tabata makes me feel strong and athletic, and Pure Barre makes me feel tight and toned, and the cardio makes me feel in my comfort zone.  

Lately, I've been griping to the Wax Man that I've felt fat, but I am entirely sure he misunderstood me.  I am not fat in the LARGESS sense, but fat in the MOOSHY MOOSHY sense.  I made the unfortunate discovery last year, that with a little moderation in my diet, I can kind of never exercise and not get any bigger.  But LO DO I GET FATTER in the sense that I lose my muscle definition and have marshmallow ass.  Nonetheless, when your clothes are still fitting, its easy to become complacent about working out.  But after checking out my ass in the mirror after my two week holiday/sickness break, I knew I had to act quickly before my laziness got out of hand.  And today I am feeling SO MUCH BETTER than I did even last Sunday.  

Have you guys tried anything new at the gym lately?  Feeling particularly inspired about something?  I'm in an uncharacteristically optimistic jolly mood.  TAKE ADVANTAGE!

Food Lush

My latest post is up at Food Lush about immersion blenders and my soup obsession!

WANTS and Not Wants.

First of all, thanks for the OVERWHELMING positive responses to my last post.  I only had one negative reply, and it was negative in a way that I didn't really see coming.  I'm still pretty confused by it to be honest-both as it related to the subject matter at hand, and by the insinuation that I only allow comments from my Yes Men.  I basically allow all comments, so long as they aren't threatening or offensive, but ya know I'll repeat- those are my prerogative.  If I suddenly decide I want to delete anything that disagrees with me, you are free to leave, just as I am free to have that policy.  I REALLY do not buy into this whole way of thinking that by allowing comments, you choose to allow yourself to be exposed to all manner of hostility.  

And one last word on the whole kids thing- I will continue to talk and talk about this.  I know at times I sound like a broken record, but I feel like the childless don't have too many voices in my corner of the internet.  Given my love of being abrasive, I'll just let one of the loud ones be me.

ANYWAY.  MOVING ON.

And since it's clear to everyone the real reason I don't want kids is so I can buy ALL THE THINGS for myself, so I thought it was time for another Shit I Want Round Up.  Due to Ole Waxy's iPad generosity, I will not be buying ANY of this stuff, but ya know.  A girl can dream. Only six months 'til my birthday I guess.  

First up:

Cole Haan Stephanie Air Mary Jane, $298.00

Oh how I want these!  Mayhaps due to the fact that Ole Waxy received a pair of Cole Haan Air loafers for Christmas, he will be feeling inspired to share the comfort of Air with me?  Probably not.

Anthropologie Across The Land Dress, $138.00

This is SO ME.  But given that some sizes are already selling out, it will SO NEVER BE MINE.

Anthropologie Giraffe Stack Pots, $128.00

This is probably the kind of thing I SHOULD be buying with my money given my alleged commitment to home decor.  Maybe I'll just buy a Chia Pet instead.

Friends of the Forest Notecards, $18.00

Will y'all start writing me handwritten correspondence so I can justify buying these?

Marc by Marc Jacobs Coral Classic Q Natasha Messenger Bag, $348.00

I am in LOVE with this color for spring, and at present, all about crossbody bags.  My girl Kate Spade has this color going on as well right now.  LOVE.

Boden Jersey Top Dress, $98.00

Lilly Pulitzer Nya Dress, $238.00

Yes, I want a Lilly dress.  I love this.  Zoom in on the link.  It's gorgeous- and perfect for a wedding we are going to in June.

I'm kind of in love with this too, even though it's a touch ridiculous:

Lilly Pulitzer Sloan Dress, $298.00

Given the cleave factor, I think Waxy would approve despite it's inherent Lilly-ness.  Any Lilly employee wanna hook me up with a discount?  I love these too.  I'M SORRY.  I AM JUST BEING WHO I AM.

Speaking of Kate Spade, I was recently discussing with my friend Chelsea (HI BRIAN) that the Kate Spade store is our happy place.  Have you been in there lately?  There is no better way to cheer yourself than to allow yourself to walk around in there for 10 minutes.  I can't even be mad that no one is buying me any of the stuff!

Kate Spade Karolina Pump in Aqua, $298.00

I want this in both colors.  The Karolina has the potential to be the new J. Crew Juliet.  If only KS ever went on sale.

I am completely obsessed with this Sandpiper print as well:

Kate Spade Sandpiper Sierra Blouse, $265.00

I wouldn't mind the shoes either.

And to end on a more affordable note, Forever 21 bringing up the rear:

Forever 21 Suedette Wedges, $26.80

Battle Hymn of the Republic of the Childless.

So I had all these grand visions about my new year being all awesome and shiz. And then I got all sick and whiny for oh, a good nine days. I've been too sick to eat, to sick to cook, too sick to work out, too sick to work. I finally started to feel not like shit finally on Thursday, just in time for my visit to Austin to see Regan and Kristin. This was fabulous, but did nothing towards furthering my goals of having any manner of a productive new year in terms of physical health or ya know, having a nice clean apartment.

HOWEVER. Upon my return to Dallas I discovered that Ole Waxy had furthered one of my goals for the year- obtaining an iPad.

Ain't he the greatest?

Do you guys have an iPad app recs?  iPad case recs?  It's only a matter of about....15 seconds before I break this damn thing sans case.  I need your help!

Anyhoo, as a part of my January Gloom, I've been feeling quite anti-social- cancelled plans, cancelled lunch dates, reluctancy to return any phone calls, and similarly, lack of blogging/twitter presence.  Just not in the mood!  But today is January 1st!  So hopefully I'll turn all that biz around soon.

In the meantime, I'd like to direct you all to a most excellent post by one of my most favorite Twitter friends, Temerity Jane.  It's on the subject of DUN DUN DUN.....NOT HAVING CHILDREN.  Ironically, by someone who is currently pregnant.  And also someone who had previously declared a lack of interest in ever being pregnant.

As she mentions in the post, she is an easy target for (the merrily childless') irritated rage as someone who seemingly proves those most awful people right- those who dismiss one's declaration that they are not having children as just a phase, the "Oh, You'll Change Your Mind" set.  Those people FILL ME WITH INDIGNANT RAGE.  As TJ puts it,

"saying “Oh, you’ll change your mind” is one of the most irritating, aggravating things you can say to anyone, in any situation. To be told that you will feel differently when you’re older/smarter/richer/whatever-er just because SOMEONE ELSE did is just mind boggling."

Now.  I'd like you to take a minute after reading this last paragraph for a moment of pause.  Are YOU one of those people?  Yes, YOU.  I know that some of you are.  Because some of you have emailed me and left comments to that effect.  Do you see what an asshat you are?  Do you see the error in your ways?  I am willing to forgive you if you are willing to repent.

This goes double for you, PEOPLE I KNOW IN REAL LIFE.  Because yes, some of you have said this bullshit to my face.  And SOME OF ME have seriously considered KICKING YOU IN THE FACE FOR IT.  That would have been inappropriate.  Just as it is inappropriate for you to declare you know me better than me.

Are we on the same page now?

There are all kinds of good reasons to have and to not have kids.  On the opposing side, over the Christmas holidays my father suddenly declared he supported my idea to remain childless because who would want to bring a child into a world like this?  I don't even want to begin to guess what the hell that means, but this obviously puts me in a really awkward position.  Because before I was going to not have a child just to spite all of the "I Told You So-ers" but now I have this mess to contend with.  I can only make my child-bearing decision to spite one of two groups I have equal interest in spiting- my Don't Reproduce Dad, and Those Other People.  WHAT'S A GIRL TO DO?

Sound like an irrational way to make a decision?  Yep. That's because it is.  BUT!  It is no less rational/irrational than having a kid because it is just so EVENTUAL AND WHAT PEOPLE DO.

Another related matter to get off my chest- I am sick and tired of people indicating to me that "Boy, for someone who doesn't want kids, you sure do talk about it a lot!"  

Well, GUESS WHAT.  That's how it is for a 30 year married adult woman- I'm childbearing age.  EVERY FUCKING PERSON I KNOW is pregnant.  Co-workers, friends, internet people, I'm about to become an aunt in less than a month.  Even though I don't want children at present, I still have those "well....maybe" moments.  That's all they ever are, but they DO happen.  And they aren't indicators of WEAKNESS.   They are indicators that I am a thoughtful responsible adult and shit who continues to reevaluate her positions on matters of importance.  And another thing that I believe I've mentioned here before- entering a marriage when you don't think you want kids is a whole hell of a lot more complex than people seem to recognize.  At any given moment, one of us could go BABY FEVER on the other person, and damn if that ain't a mess.  It's an issue that needs to be discussed REPEATEDLY between A and myself, because as was the case with TJ, sometimes ONE person changes their mind:

"He didn’t want to jump ship. He didn’t share my Must Have Baby feelings and probably wasn’t really keen on the idea at all at first, and was maybe even hoping I was going through a phase, but he wanted to be with me, so he agreed. If staying with me meant accepting an eventual baby, then that’s what he’d do."

Not that it's any of your business, but this is essentially what A has told me.  And that makes him a rather accommodating, but obviously that puts me in the possible position of having to decide if I want to have a baby with the knowledge that he is doing it for me, should I change my mind.  I would imagine if that would occur, A would obviously come around on the baby thing and love it just as much as if it were his idea in the first place.  BUT THAT COULD NOT HAPPEN.  Or he could change his mind, and I'd have to decide if I'd want to birth a baby that was not my idea.  You can see now, how I don't live on the EZ street.  And it seems to me far more likely for someone in Camp No Baby to do a 180 than someone who wants children to renege.

Anyway, all this is a really long winded way of saying GO READ THAT POST.  And if you are tempted to give someone your unasked for $0.02 on the whole baby thing, GO READ IT AGAIN.  

I Mean, I'm Basically Pregnant. Save for the Whole "Baby" Part.

Since falling ill last Wednesday, a night I spent crying and unable to sleep despite ingesting a heavy cocktail of Nyquil and Nighttime pain aids, I've endured quite a world of hurt.  Due to present, and hopefully short lived, short staffing at work, I had to go into the office on Thursday.  At about 9:30, I called my supervisor and told her that it really wasn't feasible for me to be at work any longer due to the fact that I felt so dizzy I was afraid I might pass out at my desk.  

I went home and passed out for the rest of the day, and then returned for a full day on Friday.  I was convinced on Saturday that I was well, until coming home from a double dinner date doubled-over in stomach pain.  Sunday was spent in bed laying on my side, which seems to abate the stomach pain a tad.

Ever since Monday I have been alternatively:

1) vomiting

2) starving

3) laying on the bathroom floor

4) enduring HORRIFIC gas pains

5) enduring HORRIFIC inability to uh, go to the bathroom

6) enduring HORRIFIC uh, OPPOSITE OF THAT

7) fallen into random bouts of nausea upon smelling certain things

8) fallen prey to random and intense cravings for things like macaroni and cheese (recently ingested and recently thrown back up)

9) endured constant speculation that I am pregnant.

FOR THE RECORD, I AM NOT PREGNANT.  AT ALL.

However, upon living through, and continuing to live through, these symptoms, I have decided that I have had a perfectly nice sample of what it is like to be pregnant, such that I decided that I have earned the right to have a baby through alternative methods (should the urge to have a child ever strike, which it presently HAS NOT) without ever having to wonder about the joys of pregnancy and what I might be missing.

Get Your Gift Card While It's Hot!

I'm talking about New Year's resolutions and giving away a $100 Visa gift card from Reebok and BlogHer on the review blog!

Xtra Normal Scenes From a Marriage.

No.  This isn't porn.

The other day, I was listening to NPR on my way to work, as I'm wont to do, and there was a discussion on Xtra Normal movie makers.  I was already familiar with Xtra Normal, thanks to this work of greatness about the practice of law.  (Go watch, I'll wait).

A few days later, it occurred to me- this is the perfect machine for my Scenes From a Marriage series, so I whipped up a few this weekend for your enjoyment:

Dontcha Wish Ya Were In-sta-gram Friends With Me.

This year, I'd like to take more pictures of my life.  Last year, basically the only time I busted out the camera was when we were on vacation.  Which is kind of lame.  And if I want to justify that new camera I want, I better to get to photo snappin'.  I've been getting my feet wet with the Instagram app, and I'm loving it.  It really has forced me to look at the things around me a little differently, as I obviously want to win at Instagramming!

Latisse Eyes!

And now, to encourage you to check out my Instagram stream, the piece de resistance....

FOUR YEAR OLD ME.  LOOKIN' PISSED. 

No one is surprised.

So come, join me on Instagram.  You can probably guess my name.

I'm A Food Blogger. NO REALLY!

Come check me out over at Food Lush- my first post?  Delicious (and easily made gluten free) lasagna!

What I Want in 2011.

I spend a lot of time, publicly AND privately, berating myself for spending too much money.  This overspending really only takes one form:  clothing and shoes.  My spending habits are well under control in other regards.  So my big focus in 2011 will (again) be to stop impulse buying the shit out of everything.

That being said, there are some things I PLAN on buying in 2011.  As follows:

-  New bath towels.  I'd say a nearly 5 year run on the other towels (which other people bought for us) is long enough.  I'm sure Mr. A will disagree.  Oh well.

-  Books.

-  A meat tenderizer.

-  iPad.

-  New chair for the empty corner in the bedroom.

-  Photo books to memorialize all of the travels we've done together.

-  One nice, new investment handbag.

-  Gap Body tanks for sleeping.  (I'm in the process of a PJ makeover, and these are perfect- just the right amount of stretch, and you don't wake up in the morning looking all disheveled).

-  Gap BodyFit tanks for working out.  (BEST! EVER!  No need for my usual two bra duo).

-  A plane ticket to Arizona to see Angela.

-  A plane ticket to a lot of places.

-  An exotic voyage to celebrate our 5 year wedding anniversary.

-  A new camera to document that voyage.

-  Photography lessons so that I can do that properly.

-  Tennis lessons.

-  Art for the bedroom.

-  Dinner at Brownstone and Lonesome Dove.

-  Gas to drive to Fort Worth.

-  Tickets to a comedy show.  (Last year we saw Jim Gaffigan and Bo Burnham- fun thing we don't do often enough).

-  A cleaning service.

What is on your wish list for 2011?

Waxy, Waxing.

One last holiday video of your favorite Wax Man, this time taking on the subject of Ridiculous Subdivision Names:

(both sets of parents now live in garden home subdivisions, where EVERY house looks exactly the same)